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	<title>Family Life Archives - How Felicity Finds</title>
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		<title>Parenting a Child with PDA: The Toll Nobody Talks About</title>
		<link>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/parenting-a-child-with-pda/</link>
					<comments>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/parenting-a-child-with-pda/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[faystephenson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Jul 2026 18:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The ND Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional toll of parenting a PDA child]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[impact of PDA on parents]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[low demand parenting PDA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parental autonomic nervous system PDA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting demand avoidant child]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PDA autism parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PDA child meltdowns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PDA parenting burnout]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PDA parenting strategies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what is PDA in children]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/?p=949</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Even after years of parenting my PDA child, I still have those days when nothing seems to go right, and I feel like a failure. </p>
<p>Parenting is hard enough, but when you add in that you have to think so hard about every single thing you say to your child. Then add in having to watch them struggle as they try to negotiate a world that their brain isn't wired for. It's tough. </p>
<p>But that's the part to remember: their brain is wired differently; they are not being obstinate or choosing to behave as they do. Just as we are not equipped naturally with how to parent a PDA child.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/parenting-a-child-with-pda/">Parenting a Child with PDA: The Toll Nobody Talks About</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h1 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-9088b6f3a11f056bc2dfedcdb34d80fa">Parenting a Child with PDA: The Toll Nobody Talks About</h1>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-b504f78c53a49418d6ebcbe43a6a573b">What PDA Actually Looks Like Day to Day</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">PDA, is known officially as pathological demand avoidance, but has more recently been reframed as a persistent demand for autonomy. A much better way of explaining what PDA is and what a PDAer&#8217;s struggles are. Originally seen as a specific profile linked to Autism, PDA is now known to have a strong connection to conditions such as ADHD, ODD, language disorders and trauma-related presentations.   </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Those with a PDA profile will often be judged as obtuse, defiant, and badly behaved. However, they require both control and autonomy in their lives. Demands (however small) remove that autonomy and control; therefore, they can become dysregulated and overwhelmed. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Take a <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/adhd-child-morning-routine/" type="post" id="944">school morning</a>, think of all the demands that come with simply getting up and out to school:</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>Wake Up</li>



<li>Get Dressed</li>



<li>Eat Breakfast</li>



<li>Brush Your Teeth</li>



<li>Pack Your Bag</li>
</ul>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">These demands have to be reframed to give the child back control. Obviously, in a parent-led way, not simply letting them rule the roost.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-cddbe1bed3d2af8cd46dc7c8f0ca1b30">Why PDA Parenting Hits Different — And Why It&#8217;s So Exhausting</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Being a PDA parent is like being a permanent negotiator. Every morning becomes an intricate dance of ensuring your child follows the steps they need to go to school or a club/activity. While also ensuring those steps give the child a sense of control and decision-making. Before you even speak, you have to think about what you are about to say, how it may be perceived and what outcome is required. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">You learn very quickly how to take a demand and turn it into a choice. You also learn that you can try your very best and still manage to say the wrong thing. Suddenly you are negotiating World War III. It&#8217;s hugely tiring to have to think about everything you say and do.  You end up walking on eggshells, afraid to say anything that might be perceived as a demand. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-d21dca19b6f110377aab4adecde9ee90">The Emotional Toll of Parenting a PDA Child</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">A 2025 study found that families with PDA children often spent a lot of time at home to help their child stay regulated. The unpredictability of dysregulation and the reliance on parents for support were described as isolating. Parents reported having limited time to attend to relationships with other family members due to the competing demands of raising a PDA child.<sup data-fn="5bae0fe6-fdba-49d2-923b-28e83ee5b6ac" class="fn"><a href="#5bae0fe6-fdba-49d2-923b-28e83ee5b6ac" id="5bae0fe6-fdba-49d2-923b-28e83ee5b6ac-link">1</a></sup></p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I am so lucky to have understanding friends and family. However, I am very conscious of how inflexible I have to be when it comes to nurturing those relationships. As a parent of a PDA child, I often feel judged, blamed, and isolated. I still find that many professionals frequently fail to understand, and traditional compliance-based strategies make things considerably worse. Being a woman of a certain age, I was brought up to worry about what others thought. It has taken a long time to unlearn that. To allow myself to parent the way I know is right for my child, no matter what others think. It can be hard, though; there is still a lot of judgment. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-39af8735ee42e8116f5bf159b1efbe01">When Your Own Nervous System Takes the Hit</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">As mentioned earlier, I often feel like I&#8217;m walking on eggshells, especially if a specific outcome is required. I will play conversations in my head ahead of time to ensure I have considered all the demands in that conversation. And how I can phrase them differently to achieve a smooth outcome. I am always on high alert; even the simplest conversation can turn on the flip of a coin if a demand is given. It is emotionally demanding and leaves me feeling exhausted and on edge.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">When we then look at the fact that neurodivergence has a familial connection, then quite often parents can also have traits or a diagnosis. Which means we have our own struggles on top of simply parenting a PDA child. Many women (myself included) report realising they were indeed ADHD or autistic after their child is diagnosed. Looking back at family history and childhood episodes can often give you that &#8216;lightbulb&#8217; moment. But this does mean that, quite often, the behaviours triggered by a lack of perceived autonomy can then trigger your nervous system, creating a vicious cycle that is hard to break. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">A 2023 survey of more than 700 parents found that 57% self-reported burnout. That&#8217;s in the general population, before you layer in the specific and relentless demands of PDA parenting.<sup data-fn="719dd87b-7c76-41ea-954c-828dbcd64c89" class="fn"><a href="#719dd87b-7c76-41ea-954c-828dbcd64c89" id="719dd87b-7c76-41ea-954c-828dbcd64c89-link">2</a></sup></p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-5cbc78f7f278a4a1841d02485ff451e8">PDA Parenting Burnout — and How It Sneaks Up on You</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">A decline in our mental and physical well-being, as well as a strained relationship with our child, is the beginning of parental burnout. As mothers, especially, we tend to put our needs last and minimise the impact things have on us. This can lead to burnout sneaking up on us, and we may not realise it until too late. Other signs of parental burnout include a reduced emotional connection, increased conflict in the home, and negatively impacted relationships with others. Initially, we can blame ourselves for this. Rather than recognising it is down to a reduced capacity both emotionally and physically.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-575ad1f8101a9266a9dbd56c33406d2d">Low-Demand Parenting: What It Is and Why It&#8217;s Not &#8220;Giving In&#8221;</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">A lot of people assume that low-demand parenting is similar to gentle parenting, and whilst there are similarities, they are two entirely different techniques. The core difference is this: gentle parenting still involves requests, expectations, and boundaries — just delivered warmly. Low demand parenting questions whether the demand should exist at all. It starts from the position that for a PDA nervous system, any perceived demand — however kindly worded — triggers an anxiety response that overrides everything else. So the work isn&#8217;t in how you deliver the demand; it&#8217;s in whether you issue it in the first place. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Low-demand parenting wasn&#8217;t developed as a parenting philosophy for the general population. It grew specifically out of the PDA community, primarily through the work of people like Dr Casey Ehrlich (<a href="https://www.atpeaceparents.com/" type="link" id="https://www.atpeaceparents.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">At Peace Parents</a>), who recognised that standard approaches, including gentle parenting, simply don&#8217;t work for demand-avoidant children and can actively make things worse. Believe me when I tell you that we are not &#8216;giving in&#8217;; low-demand parenting is so tough. You essentially have to relearn how to parent; this is not a choice; it is a necessity!</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-098b3647859a860e6f9cbee9201d8776">Strategies That Actually Help — For Both of You</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">The most useful thing I learnt and would advise immediately to all parents of a PDA child is not to sweat the small stuff. When everything becomes a negotiation, and the smallest task is akin to the Brexit deal (no one really wins, and there&#8217;s still a dispute over the terms!), then you quickly realise which battles need to be fought and which don&#8217;t. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Negotiable: what socks to wear, eating at the table, cutting the crust of sandwiches. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Non-negotiable: not many &#8211; anything that is the difference between being safe and not, or being alive or not.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Look at the outcome and decide which &#8216;demands&#8217; must be met to get there. Where possible, give your child a choice about the order of these steps, or remove a step entirely if it won&#8217;t make a difference to the outcome. Try, where possible, to turn the &#8216;demand&#8217; into a choice. Obviously, a child has to wear shoes to go to school; that is your outcome, but instead of &#8216;put your shoes on&#8217;, it can be re-framed as &#8216;which shoes would you like to wear, the black trainers or the grey trainers?&#8217;. This gives them the control and autonomy they need, whilst giving you the outcome you require.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Reduce verbal demands as much as possible. For younger children, this can be done using visual charts to guide each step. Turning steps into a game also works well with younger children (we used to regularly play the &#8216;who can get dressed first&#8217; game on school mornings)</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-5da375f30d7a7d239300b5fc0ee4f4d5">You&#8217;re Not Failing — You&#8217;re Parenting a Different Operating System</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Even after years of parenting my PDA child, I still have those days when nothing seems to go right, and I feel like a failure. Parenting is hard enough, but when you add in that you have to think so hard about every single thing you say to your child. Then add in having to watch them struggle as they try to negotiate a world that their brain isn&#8217;t wired for. It&#8217;s tough. But that&#8217;s the part to remember: their brain is wired differently; they are not being obstinate or choosing to behave as they do. Just as we are not equipped naturally with how to parent a PDA child. When you have your first baby, did you know what you were doing? PDA parenting is simply learning what works for your child.  </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Research itself acknowledges the gap &#8211; future studies have been called for to evaluate mental health outcomes. Alongside associated interventions specifically for parents of PDA children. Systematic evaluation of parenting stress is recognised as warranted in this group. Research is only just catching up to what we have known for years.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">It is one of the hardest journeys I&#8217;ve been on and can be very lonely and demoralising at times. Be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone. We are all in this together. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a745d9455bd5509773847eef9cf1901f">Fay x</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">These are two books that I found particularly helpful when we began our PDA journey.</p>



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<ol class="wp-block-footnotes"><li id="5bae0fe6-fdba-49d2-923b-28e83ee5b6ac"><a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11747059/" id="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11747059/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">PubMed Central</a> <a href="#5bae0fe6-fdba-49d2-923b-28e83ee5b6ac-link" aria-label="Jump to footnote reference 1"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/21a9.png" alt="↩" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</a></li><li id="719dd87b-7c76-41ea-954c-828dbcd64c89"><a href="https://nursing.osu.edu/news/2024/05/08/perfect-parent-study" id="https://nursing.osu.edu/news/2024/05/08/perfect-parent-study" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Osu</a> <a href="#719dd87b-7c76-41ea-954c-828dbcd64c89-link" aria-label="Jump to footnote reference 2"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/21a9.png" alt="↩" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</a></li></ol><p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/parenting-a-child-with-pda/">Parenting a Child with PDA: The Toll Nobody Talks About</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">949</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>ADHD Child Morning Routine: Why School Mornings Are So Hard for Children with ADHD, Autism and PDA</title>
		<link>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/adhd-child-morning-routine/</link>
					<comments>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/adhd-child-morning-routine/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[faystephenson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 21 Jun 2026 18:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The ND Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD child morning routine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD child won't get up]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD executive dysfunction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD mornings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD parenting tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD school refusal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[autism and PDA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[autism morning struggles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[demand avoidance in children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PDA profile autism]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/?p=944</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Does your ADHD or autistic child struggle with a morning routine? It&#8217;s not laziness, defiance, or bad parenting. Every morning feels like Groundhog Day. You&#8217;ve woken them countless times. You&#8217;ve called them even more. Shoes are nowhere to be found, and the socks don&#8217;t feel right. All this, all before 8 am. If this rings [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/adhd-child-morning-routine/">ADHD Child Morning Routine: Why School Mornings Are So Hard for Children with ADHD, Autism and PDA</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Does your ADHD or autistic child struggle with a morning routine?  It&#8217;s not laziness, defiance, or bad parenting. Every morning feels like Groundhog Day. You&#8217;ve woken them countless times. You&#8217;ve called them even more. Shoes are nowhere to be found, and the socks don&#8217;t feel right. All this, all before 8 am. If this rings a bell, you&#8217;re not alone. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">There are neurological reasons why mornings can be genuinely difficult.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-5ab1a74df40ff8d34673b14a40886a92">Why Does My ADHD Child Take So Long to Get Ready for School?</h2>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li><strong>ADHD</strong> &#8211; Struggles with executive function and sleep make it hard for anyone with ADHD on a morning.  Lots of &#8216;tasks&#8217;, plus possibly still not being fully awake, is not a great mix.</li>



<li><strong>Autism</strong> &#8211; For children with autism, transitions can be difficult. Mornings, in particular, involve many transitions within a relatively short time. Plus, there&#8217;s the added worry of having to &#8216;mask&#8217; all day at school. </li>



<li><strong>PDA</strong> &#8211; For a child with a PDA profile, the above tasks and transitions can all seem like a long list of demands. Add in the anxiety/anticipation of the school day, and it can be overwhelming before they&#8217;ve even got out of bed.</li>



<li><strong>Anxiety &#8211; </strong>The anticipation of trying to fit in, reading social cues, and understanding what is expected of you at any given time can be hugely anxiety-provoking in many neurodivergent children. </li>



<li><strong>Executive dysfunction</strong> &#8211; For many neurodivergent children, executive dysfunction means that seemingly simple tasks like getting dressed, packing a school bag or leaving the house can feel overwhelming because their brain struggles to organise and initiate the steps involved.</li>



<li><strong>Transitions &#8211; </strong>We tend to think of the bigger transitions, like moving from junior to senior school, or moving up a year group each year. But for children with <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/adhd-autism-and-transition/" type="link" id="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/adhd-autism-and-transition/">ADHD and autism, transitions</a> can be about the everyday, like waking up each morning.</li>
</ul>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-3d61d9d7dbe808b6944cc40faed23230">ADHD and Morning Struggles: It&#8217;s More Than Just Being Tired</h2>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-e186300b465ee819e29cfd4695abb8be">Executive Dysfunction Makes Starting Tasks Hard</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">There are a huge number of tasks to complete every morning before school:</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>Wake Up</li>



<li>Get Dressed</li>



<li>Breakfast</li>



<li>Brush Teeth</li>



<li>Pack School bag/PE Kit</li>



<li>Remember Homework</li>



<li>Make the School Bus</li>
</ul>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">And that&#8217;s just the basics. Research suggests that children with ADHD may experience a delay in executive functioning development of around 30%, meaning a 10-year-old with ADHD may have organisational, planning and self-management skills more similar to those of a 7-year-old.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-6ee12f6d20d1010590d826413ceb952d">Sleep Inertia and Delayed Sleep Patterns</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If your child with ADHD seems to come alive at bedtime but is impossible to get moving in the morning, there may be a biological reason. ADHD is strongly associated with delayed sleep patterns, meaning their internal body clock runs later than expected, making early school mornings particularly challenging. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Some experience sleep inertia, meaning they feel groggy and disoriented long after waking. Sleep inertia in the general population often lasts around <strong>15–30 minutes</strong>, but can extend to <strong>an hour or more</strong> in some individuals. ADHD appears to be associated with more severe and prolonged sleep inertia.<sup data-fn="dee8b162-996a-4148-abc0-e3fea451be9d" class="fn"><a href="#dee8b162-996a-4148-abc0-e3fea451be9d" id="dee8b162-996a-4148-abc0-e3fea451be9d-link">1</a></sup> It can be advisable to build in a longer &#8216;buffer&#8217; in the morning, anything from 45 mins to 90 mins.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Children with ADHD are two to three times more likely to experience sleep problems than their neurotypical peers.<sup data-fn="db02349e-ad6f-42fd-8f5b-a3b14dc48040" class="fn"><a href="#db02349e-ad6f-42fd-8f5b-a3b14dc48040" id="db02349e-ad6f-42fd-8f5b-a3b14dc48040-link">2</a></sup></p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-289e0430972ddd09b1330d6928644cf4">How Autism Can Make School Mornings More Difficult</h2>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-f1015fa1567ad20835f36f9041ef989b">Transitions Are Hard Work</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">As mentioned earlier, we tend to think of &#8216;larger&#8217; transitions, but for many autistic children, every day is full of lots and lots of smaller transitions that neurotypicals take for granted.  </p>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>moving from being asleep to awake</li>



<li>having to get dressed</li>



<li>transitioning from home to school</li>



<li>moving from classroom to classroom, each lesson</li>



<li>transitioning from lesson to playtime to lunch and back again. </li>
</ul>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Each of these transitions requires a huge amount of energy for an autistic child to make.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-49a303b4624061fa1e5d20da76e9caaf">The Hidden Stress of the School Day</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Which brings me perfectly on to the point of hidden stress. The effort that a neurodivergent child will have to use to simply get through the day is enough to make them anxious or even overwhelmed. Not knowing exactly what to expect, having to manage friendships, teachers&#8217; expectations and school work, can all be huge stress points throughout the day, and the anxiety can begin as soon as they wake.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-83b47c2db54fbdf50dd9047b94deeafc">Understanding PDA and Morning Resistance</h2>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-4fb4f173f2545012bb8cf7ed652fdc4b">Why Everyday Tasks Can Feel Like Demands</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">For a neurodivergent child with PDA (commonly known as Pathological Demand Avoidance), another level of anxiety is added. All the tasks that are already hard to manage suddenly feel like demands. For a child with PDA, feeling &#8216;in control&#8217; is hugely important. A better way to look at PDA is as a pervasive desire for autonomy. So tasks and questions can be perceived as demands and will be met with resistance. </p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-5aa137e4f189a3624057dfb6a4c21c07">It&#8217;s Not Refusal — It&#8217;s Often Anxiety</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">The anticipation of the unknown can be so anxiety-inducing that a PDA child will simply refuse to even try. It can seem like defiance or stubbornness, but it is a neurological difference in the way their brains perceive the world around them and their expectations. Even praise can be seen as a demand, because they perceive it as meaning they must work to this level each time.</p>



<div class="wp-block-cover alignwide has-parallax" style="min-height:283px;aspect-ratio:unset;"><div class="wp-block-cover__image-background wp-image-963 has-parallax" style="background-position:50% 50%;background-image:url(https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/ADHD-Child-Morning-Routine-Why-School-Mornings-Are-So-Hard-for-Children-with-ADHD-Autism-and-PDA-2-1024x341.png)"></div><span aria-hidden="true" class="wp-block-cover__background has-background-dim"></span><div class="wp-block-cover__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-cover-is-layout-flow">
<p class="has-text-align-center has-large-font-size wp-block-paragraph"></p>
</div></div>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-12e7ce1fac0a855cc1e6886dabc423c7">What School Mornings Might Feel Like for Your Child</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Before they&#8217;ve even left their bed, they may already be thinking about getting dressed, navigating friendships, coping with noise, following instructions, and masking all day.  My youngest really struggles to trust what he is being told and the people around him. He needs routine and predictability after years of change and feeling let down by previous education settings. So each morning is like a new morning with the same anxieties, worries, demands, until he can build that trust again. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-edb24972164ccab880dd858a6592e7df">Practical Ways to Make Your ADHD Child&#8217;s Morning Routine Easier</h2>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-4b6ea0ef349dac15fad65afaa3f463d2">Reduce Morning Decisions</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Write a list of all the decisions that need to be made on a morning. There will be more than you originally anticipated. Are there any you can remove from the list completely, or move to a different time, like the night before?</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-251e7296929aecb8c89176182e6e1aa2">Prepare as Much as Possible the Night Before</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If tasks can be moved to the night before, then it&#8217;s really advisable to do so. Things like laying out uniform/clothes the night before. Making sure the PE Kit is ready and packed if needed. If there is homework, is it completed and packed in the school bag? </p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a4ffc607ed699e524b2e298892ddd5c9">Break Tasks Into Tiny Steps</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">For larger tasks, break them down. Telling your ADHD or autistic child to simply get ready for school can be overwhelming. Break it down into manageable steps, giving one at a time as they complete each step. </p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-b739f34fc87072f43351a242907304b4">Offer Genuine Choices</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">For children with a PDA profile, how you word things can have a real effect. Rather than saying &#8216;brush your teeth, get dressed&#8217;, give them the choice of which they&#8217;d like to do first. Or you can simply state that their toothbrush and toothpaste are at the basin when they are ready to brush their teeth.    </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">For younger children, try making tasks a game. We would quite often &#8216;see who can get dressed&#8217; first, or &#8216;who could brush their teeth best.&#8217;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-dc9fb13bf286da255877ca96399c7644">Use Visual Prompts Instead of Constant Verbal Reminders</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Spoken voice can be construed as a demand or overwhelming, especially if your child has sensory struggles. Using visual reminders can be very useful under these circumstances. A morning routine &#8216;to do&#8217; chart, where children can tick off each task as completed, can work well with some (keep it simple).  What I found worked well with Sam were visual hand cues. So, rather than going in every 10 mins to tell him the time, a demand in itself. Then, simply replacing my voice with holding my hand up to show how many minutes were left (so five fingers for five minutes), worked well.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-e4247d06616399b4608d511923fa3fc7">Focus on Connection Before Correction</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Where possible, try not to correct your child in the morning. When they are already anxious or possibly internalising overwhelm, then correcting them can be the straw that broke the camel&#8217;s back. Try instead to connect with them, explain that you can feel their struggles and ask what would help. Or simply move past the &#8216;error&#8217; and try again in 5 minutes, even helping them to achieve.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-09e046995f202ac317dcf1e1102a63b8">When Morning Struggles Might Be a Sign of School Anxiety</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">While ADHD, autism and PDA can all contribute to difficult mornings. It is worth considering whether school anxiety may also be playing a role. If your child seems particularly resistant on school days but is happy to get up on weekends, or for activities they enjoy. Then their morning struggles could be a sign that they&#8217;re feeling overwhelmed by something at school. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-277f09c299294fe6e7302ed68991ae9b">What Helped Me Reframe Our Morning Battles</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">As soon as I realised that my children were not deliberately being difficult but were struggling, my thinking shifted. Being a SEN parent who is neurodivergent myself, the struggles were not so obvious for my two eldest. Without realising it, I had built many of the above steps into our routine because they helped me in the morning. Which in turn helped them. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">However, the struggles with my youngest were so much greater. When EBSA (emotionally based school avoidance) set in after a disastrous transition to a mainstream secondary school, I had to question the very way I parented. That&#8217;s another story for another day. Suddenly, what had worked previously no longer did. Realising that his &#8216;behaviour&#8217; was actually him trying to communicate with me really helped.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-d89ffdf09721fdcb0410e382241c5d01">Final Thoughts: Your Child Isn&#8217;t Giving You a Hard Time</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Children with ADHD, autism, and PDA aren&#8217;t usually choosing to make mornings difficult. More often, they&#8217;re having a difficult time navigating a world that asks a lot of them before the day has even begun.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Once we start to approach their behaviour as struggles and listen to what they are trying to tell us, it makes things a lot easier. Parenting neurodivergent children is not easy. But you are not alone, and small changes can make a big difference. I&#8217;m always available on socials or by commenting below. What small change did you find helped, or are you still in the battleround? </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a745d9455bd5509773847eef9cf1901f">Fay x</h2>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-232f40d973db1ee051193131b3b1ef15">Frequently Asked Questions</h2>



<div data-wp-context="{ &quot;autoclose&quot;: true, &quot;accordionItems&quot;: [] }" data-wp-interactive="core/accordion" role="group" class="wp-block-accordion is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-is-layout-flow">
<div data-wp-class--is-open="state.isOpen" data-wp-context="{ &quot;id&quot;: &quot;accordion-item-1&quot;, &quot;openByDefault&quot;: false }" data-wp-init="callbacks.initAccordionItems" data-wp-on-window--hashchange="callbacks.hashChange" class="wp-block-accordion-item is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-item-is-layout-flow">
<h3 class="wp-block-accordion-heading has-base-color has-contrast-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-26e672df32ccba21735c2cc82155f4c1"><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="accordion-item-1-panel" data-wp-bind--aria-expanded="state.isOpen" data-wp-on--click="actions.toggle" data-wp-on--keydown="actions.handleKeyDown" id="accordion-item-1" type="button" class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle"><span class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle-title">Why won&#8217;t my ADHD child get out of bed for school?</span><span class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle-icon" aria-hidden="true">+</span></button></h3>



<div inert aria-labelledby="accordion-item-1" data-wp-bind--inert="!state.isOpen" id="accordion-item-1-panel" role="region" class="wp-block-accordion-panel is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-panel-is-layout-flow">
<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If your ADHD child struggles to get out of bed for school, it isn&#8217;t usually because they&#8217;re being lazy or difficult. Many children with ADHD experience executive dysfunction, which can make starting tasks incredibly challenging, even when they know they need to do them. Some children also have delayed sleep patterns or experience sleep inertia, meaning they feel groggy and disoriented long after waking.</p>



<p class="has-accent-2-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-c894ac9c615f6f72e41e99c6c19c6eb9 wp-block-paragraph">For children who are also autistic or have a PDA profile, the thought of the school day ahead can feel overwhelming before they&#8217;ve even left their bed. The combination of transitions, expectations, sensory demands and social pressures can make getting started feel like the hardest part of the day.</p>
</div>
</div>



<div data-wp-class--is-open="state.isOpen" data-wp-context="{ &quot;id&quot;: &quot;accordion-item-2&quot;, &quot;openByDefault&quot;: false }" data-wp-init="callbacks.initAccordionItems" data-wp-on-window--hashchange="callbacks.hashChange" class="wp-block-accordion-item is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-item-is-layout-flow">
<h3 class="wp-block-accordion-heading has-base-color has-contrast-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-69ad5276fb59fb88031d3121893a37e6"><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="accordion-item-2-panel" data-wp-bind--aria-expanded="state.isOpen" data-wp-on--click="actions.toggle" data-wp-on--keydown="actions.handleKeyDown" id="accordion-item-2" type="button" class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle"><span class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle-title">Do children with ADHD struggle more in the mornings?</span><span class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle-icon" aria-hidden="true">+</span></button></h3>



<div inert aria-labelledby="accordion-item-2" data-wp-bind--inert="!state.isOpen" id="accordion-item-2-panel" role="region" class="wp-block-accordion-panel is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-panel-is-layout-flow">
<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Yes, many children with ADHD find mornings particularly challenging. ADHD can affect sleep, motivation, task initiation and time awareness, all of which are important when getting ready for school. While some children appear fully awake, they may still struggle to organise themselves, prioritise tasks or move from one activity to the next.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Mornings often involve multiple demands in a short space of time, from getting dressed and eating breakfast to remembering homework and leaving the house on time. For an ADHD brain, this can quickly become overwhelming, leading to delays, frustration and stress for the whole family.</p>
</div>
</div>



<div data-wp-class--is-open="state.isOpen" data-wp-context="{ &quot;id&quot;: &quot;accordion-item-3&quot;, &quot;openByDefault&quot;: false }" data-wp-init="callbacks.initAccordionItems" data-wp-on-window--hashchange="callbacks.hashChange" class="wp-block-accordion-item is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-item-is-layout-flow">
<h3 class="wp-block-accordion-heading has-base-color has-contrast-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-44b6cef8cb5fb043f2b1fe6c6d7bceef"><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="accordion-item-3-panel" data-wp-bind--aria-expanded="state.isOpen" data-wp-on--click="actions.toggle" data-wp-on--keydown="actions.handleKeyDown" id="accordion-item-3" type="button" class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle"><span class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle-title">Is morning resistance common in PDA?</span><span class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle-icon" aria-hidden="true">+</span></button></h3>



<div inert aria-labelledby="accordion-item-3" data-wp-bind--inert="!state.isOpen" id="accordion-item-3-panel" role="region" class="wp-block-accordion-panel is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-panel-is-layout-flow">
<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Yes, morning resistance is very common in children with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Persistent Drive for Autonomy) profile. Everyday tasks such as getting dressed, brushing teeth or leaving for school can be experienced as demands, triggering anxiety and a strong need to maintain control.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">This doesn&#8217;t mean a child is choosing to be oppositional. In many cases, their nervous system is responding to feelings of pressure or overwhelm. Reducing demands, offering genuine choices and approaching mornings with flexibility and collaboration can often be more effective than repeated reminders or consequences.</p>
</div>
</div>



<div data-wp-class--is-open="state.isOpen" data-wp-context="{ &quot;id&quot;: &quot;accordion-item-4&quot;, &quot;openByDefault&quot;: false }" data-wp-init="callbacks.initAccordionItems" data-wp-on-window--hashchange="callbacks.hashChange" class="wp-block-accordion-item is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-item-is-layout-flow">
<h3 class="wp-block-accordion-heading has-base-color has-contrast-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-85333bbeb97d7e6081b69f2af702bff9"><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="accordion-item-4-panel" data-wp-bind--aria-expanded="state.isOpen" data-wp-on--click="actions.toggle" data-wp-on--keydown="actions.handleKeyDown" id="accordion-item-4" type="button" class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle"><span class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle-title">How can I make my child&#8217;s morning routine easier?</span><span class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle-icon" aria-hidden="true">+</span></button></h3>



<div inert aria-labelledby="accordion-item-4" data-wp-bind--inert="!state.isOpen" id="accordion-item-4-panel" role="region" class="wp-block-accordion-panel is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-panel-is-layout-flow">
<p class="wp-block-paragraph">There isn&#8217;t a one-size-fits-all solution, but many parents find that reducing the number of decisions and demands in the morning can help. Preparing school bags, uniforms and lunches the night before can reduce stress and make mornings feel more manageable.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Breaking tasks into smaller steps, using visual reminders and offering choices can also support children with ADHD, autism or PDA. Most importantly, try to focus on connection rather than conflict. Understanding why your child is struggling can help you find strategies that work for your family rather than getting stuck in daily battles.</p>
</div>
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<div data-wp-class--is-open="state.isOpen" data-wp-context="{ &quot;id&quot;: &quot;accordion-item-5&quot;, &quot;openByDefault&quot;: false }" data-wp-init="callbacks.initAccordionItems" data-wp-on-window--hashchange="callbacks.hashChange" class="wp-block-accordion-item is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-item-is-layout-flow">
<h3 class="wp-block-accordion-heading has-base-color has-contrast-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-9035ca087551bfe87f29f0f7a9b5a990"><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="accordion-item-5-panel" data-wp-bind--aria-expanded="state.isOpen" data-wp-on--click="actions.toggle" data-wp-on--keydown="actions.handleKeyDown" id="accordion-item-5" type="button" class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle"><span class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle-title">Could school anxiety be causing morning meltdowns?</span><span class="wp-block-accordion-heading__toggle-icon" aria-hidden="true">+</span></button></h3>



<div inert aria-labelledby="accordion-item-5" data-wp-bind--inert="!state.isOpen" id="accordion-item-5-panel" role="region" class="wp-block-accordion-panel is-layout-flow wp-block-accordion-panel-is-layout-flow">
<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Sometimes, yes. If your child seems particularly resistant to getting ready on school days but is more relaxed at weekends or during holidays, anxiety may be playing a role. School can be demanding for neurodivergent children, especially if they are dealing with sensory challenges, social pressures, academic expectations or the exhaustion that comes from masking throughout the day.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Morning meltdowns can sometimes be a sign that a child is struggling with what lies ahead rather than the morning routine itself. Approaching the situation with curiosity rather than assumptions can help uncover whether anxiety is contributing to the difficulties and what support might be needed.</p>
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<h5 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-51ea816b582b6b5489f421ac3f8c1e17"><strong>REFERENCES</strong></h5>


<ol class="wp-block-footnotes"><li id="dee8b162-996a-4148-abc0-e3fea451be9d"><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/sleep-inertia-7255244">Sleep Inertia: Getting Past the Grogginess</a> <a href="#dee8b162-996a-4148-abc0-e3fea451be9d-link" aria-label="Jump to footnote reference 1"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/21a9.png" alt="↩" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</a></li><li id="db02349e-ad6f-42fd-8f5b-a3b14dc48040"><a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/1471-244X-12-212">Contributions of circadian tendencies and behavioral problems to sleep onset problems of children with ADHD | BMC Psychiatry | Springer Nature Link</a> <a href="#db02349e-ad6f-42fd-8f5b-a3b14dc48040-link" aria-label="Jump to footnote reference 2"><img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/21a9.png" alt="↩" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />︎</a></li></ol><p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/adhd-child-morning-routine/">ADHD Child Morning Routine: Why School Mornings Are So Hard for Children with ADHD, Autism and PDA</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
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		<title>My honest product edit — what has actually helped with the AuDHD, the perimenopause, and the renovation chaos</title>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[faystephenson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 07 Jun 2026 18:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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		<category><![CDATA[Farmhouse Friday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The ND Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[audhd products i love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[caudalie skin care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[craig and rose 1829 paints]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[elavate collagen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[farrow and ball paint]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kitchen storage jars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[multivitamin for women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[numind menopause supplements]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perimenopausal skin care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[products for audhd women uk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[products i love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rebel rituals essential oils]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spice storage jars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[storage jars for herbs and spices]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/?p=934</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>This post contains affiliate links for some products; they will be clearly marked. If you purchase through my links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I also have a personal discount code for the collagen I mentioned — I can&#8217;t share it publicly, but drop a comment below or [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/my-honest-product-edit-what-has-actually-helped-with-the-audhd-the-perimenopause-and-the-renovation-chaos/">My honest product edit — what has actually helped with the AuDHD, the perimenopause, and the renovation chaos</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h5 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-6449952cc12bd7dfb7fa9a7a6ad3d6fa">This post contains affiliate links for some products; they will be clearly marked. If you purchase through my links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I also have a personal discount code for the collagen I mentioned — I can&#8217;t share it publicly, but drop a comment below or message me on Instagram, and I&#8217;ll send it over. <strong>I only ever recommend products I actually use.</strong></h5>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Since hitting perimenopause, my coping mechanisms failed, and the mask fell off. My journey with AuDHD began, and boy, it&#8217;s been a hell of a ride. And whilst dealing with all that, we decided that starting a renovation project would be a fantastic idea! So what are the products that have helped me through these last few years, and what new ones am I using in the house to help with the reno and work with my neurodivergence?</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-60914a1e14329ee20e63f9396cd6ddc0">Products for AuDHD Women in the UK</h2>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-2-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-07eda730dbab2b68621ed3752ec40c88">THE ND TOOLKIT</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">From essential oils from Rebel Rituals to sleep sprays from This Works, these products help me calm my mind, focus my thoughts, and get a great night&#8217;s sleep. And when it all gets a little too much, the weighted blanket comes out to give me a huge, deep hug.</p>



<div class="wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex">
<div class="wp-block-button is-style-fill"><a class="wp-block-button__link wp-element-button" href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/products-i-love/neurodivergent-products-i-love-the-nd-toolkit/">FIND OUT MORE&#8230;</a></div>
</div>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-2-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-31a89f67fb7517ca8b8cea8918cc8b20" style="text-transform:uppercase">Perimenopause &amp; hormone wellbeing</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Supplements voted the Best Menopause Supplement of the Year 2025 by BBC Good Food help me get a full night&#8217;s sleep and the energy to function throughout the day. Vitamins and collagen, specifically designed by Elavate, are my secret weapons to fantastic hair and nails. Whilst my Caudalie Vinopure Serum has eradicated the hormonal acne that was one of my earliest and worst menopause symptoms. </p>



<div class="wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex">
<div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link wp-element-button" href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/products-i-love/perimenopause-products-that-help-perimenopause-and-hormone-wellbeing/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">FIND OUT MORE&#8230;</a></div>
</div>



<figure class="wp-block-video alignwide"><video height="720" style="aspect-ratio: 1280 / 720;" width="1280" autoplay controls loop muted src="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Untitled-design.mp4" playsinline></video></figure>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-2-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-4595aeb67ad0958eec1c48bdc93ee812">THE FARMHOUSE</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I&#8217;ve found some great kitchen products that not only look great but also help with an ADHD brain by reducing stress, visually and literally, and ensuring we don&#8217;t run out. When you have ND kids, it&#8217;s worth more than your life to run out of their favourites! </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">As well as that, I know a lot of people have asked about the products and companies we are working with for the renovation, so I&#8217;ll be adding them here, too. </p>



<div class="wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex">
<div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link wp-element-button" href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/products-i-love/farmhouse-lifestyle-products/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">FIND OUT MORE&#8230;</a></div>
</div>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-2-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-ae209fdad6307fbdadc0fd56d249aff5">RURAL &amp; FAMILY LIFE</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Coming this week, I&#8217;ll also be adding in a lot of the products and clothing we use and wear now that we live a little more rurally. Think wellies, gilets, leggings, as well as gardening tools and more as time goes on. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I&#8217;ll also list a lot of the items that have helped us as a neurodivergent family, such as labelling, vitamins and supplements, books on ND parenting, etc. </p>



<div class="wp-block-buttons is-layout-flex wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex">
<div class="wp-block-button"><a class="wp-block-button__link wp-element-button">COMING SOON!</a></div>
</div>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">All the products listed, which we use and love, have genuinely helped us along the way. So, I really hope that they will help you too! If there is anything you want to ask, please just comment below! </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a745d9455bd5509773847eef9cf1901f">Fay x</h2>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/my-honest-product-edit-what-has-actually-helped-with-the-audhd-the-perimenopause-and-the-renovation-chaos/">My honest product edit — what has actually helped with the AuDHD, the perimenopause, and the renovation chaos</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">934</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>I had postnatal depression, undiagnosed ADHD, and no idea the two were connected. This is what happened — and why it matters for every woman diagnosed too late.</title>
		<link>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/postnatal-depression-undiagnosed-adhd/</link>
					<comments>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/postnatal-depression-undiagnosed-adhd/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[faystephenson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 10 May 2026 18:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The ND Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD and PND]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD and postnatal depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD oestrogen dopamine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD postpartum mental health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[late ADHD diagnosis women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[maternal mental health ADHD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neurodivergent mum mental health UK]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neurodivergent postnatal depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[postnatal depression misdiagnosis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[undiagnosed ADHD women UK]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/?p=731</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>This post highlights the critical connection between postnatal depression (PND) and undiagnosed ADHD, rooted in the author's personal journey. It underscores the importance of awareness, diagnosis, and support for new mothers experiencing these challenges. Emphasising the need for healthcare professionals to recognise symptoms early to improve outcomes and save lives.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/postnatal-depression-undiagnosed-adhd/">I had postnatal depression, undiagnosed ADHD, and no idea the two were connected. This is what happened — and why it matters for every woman diagnosed too late.</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h4 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-2-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-ac6712ba44e49389e489e06ce279f8f7">This post discusses postnatal depression, undiagnosed ADHD, and suicidal crisis. If you are struggling right now, please reach out to PANDAS on 0808 1961 776 or Samaritans on 116 123 before reading on. You are not alone.</h4>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-6a6fbcc67a4ce1e5e6966370d4371f7a">Maternal Mental Health Week: the ADHD and PND connection that almost cost me my life.</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">As I sit in the new house, surrounded by chaos yet warmed by a hot cup of tea, I can reflect on how far I&#8217;ve come. Almost two decades ago, I was in a very different place. But this isn&#8217;t meant to be a sad story, far from it. This is a story of a mother with undiagnosed adhd and postnatal depression, who fought hard, coming out not only stronger, but gentler on herself too. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">With two boys under two, I found motherhood hard. I wasn&#8217;t a confident mum, but at least by the time I had my second, I had a bit of a routine going. Looking back, I can totally see the signs of the AuDHD. I clung to Gina Ford and the routine, but I also found it hard to organise myself and the boys. I couldn&#8217;t do more than 1 &#8216;thing&#8217; in a day, and looked in awe and horror at friends who could visit friends and family, and fit in an activity all in the same day. But as the months went on, any feelings I had started to become numb, and any joy that had been there had gone. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-f723336de75d0d8a4d9777a8d8c10dc7">Not an easy journey</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I was lonely; I had moved away from family and friends, and didn&#8217;t drive at the time. And with two under two, it wasn&#8217;t the easiest to get on a bus and go out. I withdrew and spent more and more time at home. My husband had a busy social life playing golf and squash, so he would be out a lot of evenings and weekends. I knew it would be tiring, but it was beyond that; I was exhausted, constantly. I quite often felt as if I wasn&#8217;t really there, or felt nothing at all. Feeling so alone, so out of my depth, and so miserable, utterly, utterly miserable, at what should be one of the happiest moments of your life.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Over the coming months, nothing seemed to get easier; I was still struggling, still found the day-to-day difficult. Still felt nothing. I began clawing at my skin to try and feel something. My forehead was often raw and bleeding, covered by a long fringe. I began to question everything, especially my ability to be a good mother and wife. I had very little contact with friends and family and hid away from the world. The final straw was not being able to attend a family event because the OH was playing golf. That night was my lowest point, and I honestly felt that everyone would be better off without me. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-1077dd686a69ba65d1d3f9dd3a365e4d">A wake-up call &#8211; literally!</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I woke the next morning, which I wasn&#8217;t expecting at all. The weight of what had happened hit home immediately, and I knew I needed to get help.   I was diagnosed with postnatal depression and immediately put on antidepressants and went to therapy. At this point, the connection to ADHD hadn&#8217;t been made. We all still saw it as something that affected young boys. And while we are now talking much more about the connection between the hormonal shift of perimenopause and ADHD, we still talk less about the connection between PND and ADHD. I wish I&#8217;d known then what I know now about the hormone crash and the dopamine dysregulation, the specific vulnerability of undiagnosed ADHD women in the postpartum period.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Women with ADHD are significantly more likely to experience severe postpartum mental health difficulties. And girls are consistently diagnosed later than boys — often not until adulthood, often not until a crisis. The cost of that delay is not academic. Consistently conducted research shows that oestrogen plays a significant role in dopamine regulation. The crash in oestrogen after birth is particularly hard for women with ADHD, diagnosed or not. There is a direct correlation between estrogen and dopamine levels, as <a href="https://www.additudemag.com/hormonal-fluctuations-adhd-symptoms-pmdd-pregnancy-menopause/" type="link" id="https://www.additudemag.com/hormonal-fluctuations-adhd-symptoms-pmdd-pregnancy-menopause/">this article from ADDitude</a> shows. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-e5cdf566dace99588186eed2009c393a">ADHD and postnatal depression</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Not only does the postpartum period exacerbate the symptoms of ADHD, but women with ADHD are at significantly elevated risk of postnatal depression. The combination of sleep deprivation, hormonal disruption, and sensory overload creates a &#8216;perfect storm&#8217; for women who are already working harder than most to manage. The <a href="https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Pandas_NDBirth_Resource_D1-15.04.pdf" type="link" id="https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Pandas_NDBirth_Resource_D1-15.04.pdf">PANDAS Foundation</a> has some fantastic resources on this very topic. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">For me, the recovery was slow, but by the time I had my third child, 7 years later, I was armed with knowledge. I still didn&#8217;t know then about my AuDHD, but I was confident and aware enough to be gentler on myself. To understand that, I found parenthood, for whatever reason, harder than most. Who knows what that early experience would have been like for me (and the boys) had I been armed with a diagnosis and support. We know that women who have a diagnosis report significant improvement in self-understanding, self-compassion and feel able to ask for support. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-6d2a0ad37f89899cf56ce8cf8d960de7">Research and awareness</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If we can improve research and continue to raise awareness, we can ensure diagnosis before motherhood. So new mothers with ADHD can enter the postpartum period with awareness, coping strategies and support from family, friends and healthcare professionals. That is not a small thing. For some women, it would be the difference between surviving and not. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Now, nearly 20 years later, it took my youngest&#8217;s journey with AuDHD, and me hitting perimenopause, to realise my own diagnosis of AuDHD. Suddenly, everything made sense. The periods of major hormonal fluctuations in a woman&#8217;s life were all the times when I had particularly struggled. <strong>If you are currently struggling, know you are not alone, and be kind to yourself. There is support available now (see the resources at the end of this article). If you, like me, are now coming/or are out the other end, well done! It wasn&#8217;t easy, but we are stronger because of it.</strong></p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>This is my direct call to healthcare professionals, GPs, CAMHs, etc., to really take note of the importance of early diagnosis, especially in women and girls. It&#8217;s not something that will just help them as they get older; it could literally save their lives.</strong></p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-971a4efd7d000436d69215966c19a028">Fay x </h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If anything in this post has resonated with you, or if you are struggling with your mental health right now, please reach out. You do not have to manage this alone.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>In crisis now:</strong>&nbsp;Samaritans — 116 123 (free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week) or samaritans.org</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Postnatal depression support:</strong>&nbsp;PANDAS Foundation — 0808 1961 776 or pandasfoundation.org.uk</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>ADHD diagnosis and support:</strong>&nbsp;ADHD UK — adhduk.co.uk | ADHD Foundation — adhdfoundation.org.uk</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Maternal mental health:</strong>&nbsp;Association for Postnatal Illness — apni.org</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>For neurodivergent women specifically:</strong>&nbsp;Neurodivergent Women — neurodivergent-women.org</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If you think you or someone you love may have undiagnosed ADHD, please speak to your GP. You deserve a diagnosis. You deserve the right support. And if your GP doesn&#8217;t listen, you are entitled to ask again.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/postnatal-depression-undiagnosed-adhd/">I had postnatal depression, undiagnosed ADHD, and no idea the two were connected. This is what happened — and why it matters for every woman diagnosed too late.</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
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			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">731</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>A new chapter, old walls, and why I started over: welcome to How Felicity Finds</title>
		<link>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/victorian-farmhouse-renovation-uk-a-new-chapter/</link>
					<comments>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/victorian-farmhouse-renovation-uk-a-new-chapter/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[faystephenson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Apr 2026 18:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Renovation Journey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The ND Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thornton-Le-Dale]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ADHD and house renovation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AuDHD and menopause UK]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grade II listed renovation blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heritage home restoration UK]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moving to rural Yorkshire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neurodivergent mum blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neurodiverse family life UK]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perimenopause real talk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[slow living North Yorkshire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thornton-le-Dale village life]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/?p=659</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>In a personal account of renovating a Victorian farmhouse, Fay reflects on her family's journey navigating ADHD, autism, and menopause. She shares insights on embracing the chaos of life changes while fostering community through her platform, ADHD Menopause and Me. Updates on the renovation and rural life experiences will be shared regularly.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/victorian-farmhouse-renovation-uk-a-new-chapter/">A new chapter, old walls, and why I started over: welcome to How Felicity Finds</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I&#8217;m currently standing in the chaos that is our &#8216;kitchen&#8217;. The floor is still to be levelled and laid, and the kitchen is due to arrive next week. I&#8217;m beginning to wonder why I decided that documenting our Victorian farmhouse renovation and rebranding was a good idea! So many women are reaching their 40s and 50s, getting diagnosed with ADHD and/or navigating menopause — and realising they can’t keep living the way they always have… so they start again. Sound familiar?</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">The community I built with ADHD Menopause and Me has been amazing. My account was initially set up to support me and my kids through some pretty tough years. We went from a &#8216;typical&#8217; family to an ND family with diagnoses of Dyslexia, Delayed Processing, ADHD and now Autism. All in the space of 5 years. I was trying to navigate menopause and raise awareness, but I couldn&#8217;t understand why I found it so hard. Walking alongside my boys through their diagnosis journeys taught me something unexpected. I was neurodivergent too. Suddenly, a lifetime of feelings I couldn&#8217;t explain began to make sense.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">My journey looks different now. The boys are older, and life has shifted. But you are still here — and that means everything. I can&#8217;t wait to share this next chapter with you.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-e1acfc78f936a61f8cfa0bc9a95f6804">How We Got Here</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Our youngest&#8217;s move to secondary school was, in a word, hard. What we&#8217;d hoped would be a fresh start quickly revealed itself to be something more significant. His struggles were deeper and more complex than any of us had fully understood.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Over the years that followed, getting him into school at all became the daily battle. Alongside the dyslexia and ADHD we already knew about, it became increasingly clear that he was also autistic with a PDA profile. Once we understand that, so much of what had felt confusing suddenly makes sense. But his difficulties at school were almost secondary to what was happening socially. Too trusting, too easily led, and younger than his years in ways that weren&#8217;t always visible on the surface. I watched him begin to form friendships that worried me. Find himself in situations I couldn&#8217;t always protect him from.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">It was a lot. For him, and for all of us.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">At the same time, life was shifting in other ways. Our two eldest had flown the nest, and for the first time in years, there was space. Space to breathe, to think, and to ask what came next. More than a decade earlier, we had built our first home from the ground up, and that itch had never really gone away.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">So we made a decision. A deliberate, wholehearted one. We would move somewhere rural, somewhere slower, somewhere that might give Sam a genuine fresh start in an environment that actually suited him — and give us a new project to pour ourselves into, while still being a home our boys could always come back to.</p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-ad9d894615a614fec140ea401e5f0cb1"><strong>What How Felicity Finds is now</strong></h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If you&#8217;d asked me a year ago what this space was going to become, I&#8217;m not sure I could have told you. But standing in the middle of a half-finished Victorian farmhouse in North Yorkshire, covered in renovation dust with an ADHD brain running at full speed and a body doing its best impression of a malfunctioning thermostat, it became pretty clear.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-139ac25297f637a529a7be0de5c4f604">How Felicity Finds is the honest version of this chapter.</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>It&#8217;s the farmhouse </strong>— Hall Farm, Victorian, Grade II listed, full of original features and full of renovation challenges I absolutely did not anticipate. I&#8217;ll be sharing every step of the restoration here, the wins, the disasters, the moments where we question every decision we&#8217;ve ever made. And of course, the ones where we look at an original sash window and remember exactly why we did this.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>It&#8217;s the village </strong>— Thornton-le-Dale is the kind of place you move to and immediately wonder why you didn&#8217;t do it sooner. The beck, the countryside, the slower pace of it all. I want to share what rural life actually looks like when you swap a village just outside the busy city of York for somewhere with a slower pace, woodland in your back garden and the <a href="https://www.northyorkmoors.org.uk/" type="link" id="https://www.northyorkmoors.org.uk/">North Yorks Moors</a> on your doorstep.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>It&#8217;s the ND life</strong> — I&#8217;m AuDHD and menopausal and a mum to three boys who each come with their own version of complex, and I&#8217;m not going to pretend any of that is straightforward. The real talk about neurodivergence, perimenopause, and parenting ND kids stays, because it&#8217;s part of every single day here, and it deserves to be spoken about honestly.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>And it&#8217;s the finds</strong> — the things that actually help. Products, tools, places, services that make life in this particular messy, beautiful chaos a little more manageable. Always honest, never just because I&#8217;ve been asked.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If you&#8217;re a woman in your forties navigating a big life change — or dreaming of one — and you want company that doesn&#8217;t pretend it&#8217;s easy, you are absolutely in the right place.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-9f12cd10f0a97125c81eaba4cec4a68f"><strong>What&#8217;s coming</strong>&#8230;</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I have a lot planned, and for once, the ADHD hyperfocus is working entirely in our favour.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Every Friday, I&#8217;ll be posting a Farmhouse Friday update </strong>— one room, one decision, one honest account of where we are with the restoration. We&#8217;re starting with the bathroom, which is the one space we&#8217;ve actually finished, and working our way through the rest of the house in real time. No staged reveals, no waiting until it&#8217;s perfect. You&#8217;re getting it as it happens.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I&#8217;m also putting together a proper <strong><a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/category/thornton-le-dale/" type="category" id="7">guide to Thornton-le-Dale</a></strong> — the walks, the places to eat, the things the locals know that don&#8217;t make it onto any tourist website. If you&#8217;ve ever thought about making a move like this, I want that guide to be the thing that helps you imagine it for yourself.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">And the AuDHD and menopause content isn&#8217;t going anywhere. In fact, I&#8217;ve got a post coming that I&#8217;ve been wanting to write for months about what executive dysfunction actually looks like when you&#8217;re also trying to manage a renovation, a family, and a rebrand simultaneously. Spoiler: it looks exactly as chaotic as you&#8217;d imagine.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">The best way to keep up is to follow along on Instagram at <a href="https://www.instagram.com/how_felicity_finds/" type="link" id="https://www.instagram.com/how_felicity_finds/">@how_felicity_finds</a>, or subscribe below to get new posts straight to your inbox. No spam, no schedules — just a new post when it&#8217;s ready.</p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"></p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">This is a new chapter. The walls are old, the floors are (mostly) original, and I am very much a work in progress — but that&#8217;s rather the point.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I&#8217;m glad you&#8217;re here. I hope you stay.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a745d9455bd5509773847eef9cf1901f">Fay x</h2>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/victorian-farmhouse-renovation-uk-a-new-chapter/">A new chapter, old walls, and why I started over: welcome to How Felicity Finds</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">659</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>5 Achievements I’m Most Proud of in 2025 (And What They Taught Me)</title>
		<link>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/5-personal-achievements-im-most-proud-of-in-2025/</link>
					<comments>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/5-personal-achievements-im-most-proud-of-in-2025/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[faystephenson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 28 Dec 2025 18:30:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[5 achievements in 2025]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[end of year reflection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goal setting and success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lessons learned in 2025]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life achievements]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal achievements in 2025]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal growth journey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-improvement journey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[year in review]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/?p=450</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Let's reflect on significant personal growth and lessons learned in 2025, particularly regarding parenting a neurodivergent child with higher needs. Key insights include prioritising children's needs, forgiving oneself, and embracing personal strengths. Emphasising the importance of setting boundaries and the necessity of acknowledging struggles, ultimately aiming for a positive outlook in 2026.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/5-personal-achievements-im-most-proud-of-in-2025/">5 Achievements I’m Most Proud of in 2025 (And What They Taught Me)</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-7bc23ed33a0b4a832490b9474d4c2fbf">The 5 Biggest Wins of My 2025 — A Year I’ll Never Forget</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">As the year draws to an end, it seems only natural to reflect on what has passed and what may follow. 2025, for various reasons, has been quite a year for us, both good and bad. But on the last day of my 51st year, I&#8217;m manifesting that 2026 is the year that brings growth, both personally, professionally and financially. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I am not one for dwelling on the past or having regrets, as we literally cannot change the past. To me, everything we go through is a lesson that we need to learn from and grow within ourselves. And I&#8217;ve certainly learnt a lot this year. So, I thought, what better than to reflect on my personal achievements for 2025!</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a03c95282f2563537287e756b2c8a248">Lessons Learned in 2025</h2>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-4c5f0e8ac1ab23874e7470a87637b723">To be &#8216;That&#8217; Parent</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">This has been a particularly hard lesson to learn, and probably taken the longest so far. Raised in the years where we were brought up to be people pleasers, and with a severe case of RSD (<a href="https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd-emotional-dysregulation/">Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria</a>), I was never very good at speaking up for myself. So when I became a mother, this trait seemed to follow. Now, while I know my two eldest have different needs, they were very much manageable and so therefore weren&#8217;t truly apparent until later in life. We seemed to naturally find coping strategies and skills to help them navigate life.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">My youngest, on the other hand, had much higher needs, which were apparent from the moment he started school.  At the time, I worked at an independent school, and so he was able to attend Junior School there. This meant smaller class sizes, individualised lessons and support. So again, whilst his struggles were greater, they were still &#8216;manageable&#8217;. Until they weren&#8217;t&#8230; </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Somewhere around Year 5/6, when the pressure began to increase, the workload became a little more and expectations grew, we began to lose the happy boy we all knew. Meltdowns were commonplace, GP and CAMHS appointments became the norm, and suddenly, we were on the road to an EHCP (<a href="https://www.gov.uk/children-with-special-educational-needs/extra-SEN-help">Educational Health Care Plan</a>). </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">The next two years were tough as we navigated a few months at mainstream, then years of school avoidance. Becoming &#8216;THAT&#8217; parent ultimately gained him a place at a specialist school. I still find it difficult, I won&#8217;t deny that, but luckily, my RSD has actually helped. Determined not to be &#8216;found out&#8217;, I read up on all things neurodivergent. Taking it even further and gaining my Level 3 SEND Law qualification with the <a href="https://www.ipsea.org.uk/online-learning-for-parents-and-carers">IPSEA charity</a>. I might still be uncomfortable speaking up for my son, but I&#8217;m confident in my knowledge, and I won&#8217;t stop fighting!</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Lesson Learnt: When needed, you are stronger than you realise!</strong></p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a526d12171fadb6354e41f21ac32aa83">My kids come first, always!</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Another side of being a people pleaser is always doing everything for everyone else. It’s often just to keep others comfortable. Again, because the eldest two needs being less, we&#8217;ve been lucky and didn&#8217;t have to make too many sacrifices. However, I now see the two eldest only at holidays, really, so I cherish the time I have with them. And Sam&#8217;s needs have always been greater, so recently we really have had to sacrifice and cut back on things we would have previously taken for granted.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Holidays tend to be quite difficult, as all our boys are very different, and finding something they all like is tough. My prerequisite is always going to be, if my kids are happy, then I&#8217;m happy.  So now, more often, we look at separate holidays, shorter breaks and balancing it out over the year. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">When it comes to social events, I no longer insist on my kids being there. If they don&#8217;t want to go to something, then I won&#8217;t make them, and will give my apologies. If my youngest wants to go, but then finds it too overwhelming, then I&#8217;ll make our excuses and leave.  Obviously, there are certain family obligations that are non-negotiable for the eldest two &#8211; funerals, weddings, etc. &#8211; but even then their jobs/studies mean they can&#8217;t walys make anyway. But for Sam, we deal with everything as non-committal and see how he is in himself on the day.  </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Lesson Learnt: Acknowledge your kids&#8217; struggles, ensure they aren&#8217;t masking (as we spent our lives doing).</strong></p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-696637e1b388c00b0f13e4dec3343870">To go a little easier on myself</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I have spent too many years feeling like the worst daughter, the worst student, the worst friend, the worst employee and the worst mum. It has truly taken till this year and understanding my brain so much more, to be able to forgive myself. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Life is too short to worry about what other people think, and there will always be people who will judge you (no matter what), so why judge yourself on top of that? One of my favourite tattoos is the song lyric from Tupac&#8217;s song of the same name: &#8220;Only god can judge me.&#8221;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Now in 2025, my circle is small, I no longer crave outside approval, I am comfortable in my skin and have no desire to be liked by everyone. My brain is how it is; I cannot change that. Now, I work with it and ensure that I know my limits. I&#8217;m not perfect, and no one is, but I know that I&#8217;m the best version of myself. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Lesson Learnt: Never stop learning, but understand your limits, they are not faults or flaws!</strong></p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-3a4e55ddac63f224ff2aa34ea52e0007">PDA is a whole other ball game!</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">When I first realised Sam might have demand-avoidant traits, I knew already that it presented differently. I just wasn&#8217;t prepared for how hard it would actually be to be in that moment. Every natural reaction is push harder, become stricter, impose more rules, but actually it doesn&#8217;t work. All that happens is your child is more dysregulated, and usually, you end up the same, too! </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I can&#8217;t tell you the number of years I spent sobbing on the stairs as I tried to coax him into school. The number of times I pushed harder, only to be met with screams and physical violence. How I&#8217;d have to watch my child get to such a state of despair that he would threaten suicide.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">It&#8217;s interesting, as soon as you begin to look at demand avoidance, you realise just how many everyday tasks we all take for granted are seen as demands: getting up, getting dressed, going to school, chores, pretty much everything you can think of. My biggest lesson was learning not to gentle parent as such, but how to re-frame how I spoke to Sam and how we worked together to deal with the tough times. Even when it seemed easy to others&#8230;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Lesson Learnt: Watch your child&#8217;s behaviours, they are communicating their struggles, not obstinacy. </strong></p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-836e9d7c9089a05625a37bb4a81dbefe">Saying NO is a necessity</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I have spent years not fully understanding why I would/could only commit to one &#8216;thing&#8217; a day. That weekends were a recovery from the week, rather than a restful break and catch-up. Unknown to me, I was protecting myself from overwhelm without realising. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">But gradually, being a people pleaser meant I found myself taking on more and more, at work and personally. Not able to see the overwhelm creep up till it was too late, and then I&#8217;d spend days on the sofa, barely able to speak. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">This year, with all of the above and growing work pressures, I&#8217;ve ended up pushing myself to the point of burnout. Having to be signed off work and re-look at my lifestyle and make major changes. I&#8217;ve always found it hard to say no to people and set boundaries, but this year I&#8217;ve had to; it literally was the difference between surviving and not. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Lesson Learnt: It is not rude to turn down an invite or take a step back from obligations. </strong></p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-489a85bcfb9b37921bc6fc5a14da6919">2025: The Year for Personal Achievements </h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">This year, I chose to focus on personal achievements, rather than what I may have previously viewed as failings. 2026, like 2025, will be the same. Focus on the positive and learn from the negative. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">How has your 2025 been, and how do you intend to move into 2026?</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a745d9455bd5509773847eef9cf1901f">Fay x</h2>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/5-personal-achievements-im-most-proud-of-in-2025/">5 Achievements I’m Most Proud of in 2025 (And What They Taught Me)</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">450</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Ultimate Family Life Guide to Thriving at Home (For Neurodiverse Families)</title>
		<link>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/the-ultimate-family-life-guide-to-thriving-at-home-for-neurodiverse-families/</link>
					<comments>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/the-ultimate-family-life-guide-to-thriving-at-home-for-neurodiverse-families/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[faystephenson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2025 20:12:09 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family life guide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family life guide for neurodiverse families]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family routines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[home organisation for families]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thriving at home]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wordpress/?p=127</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Thriving Together in a Neurodiverse Home Family life looks different for everyone — especially in a neurodiverse household, where each member brings unique strengths, needs, and ways of experiencing the world. If there is one thing I&#8217;ve learnt over the past 20 years, creating a thriving home isn’t about perfection; it’s about designing systems, spaces, [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/the-ultimate-family-life-guide-to-thriving-at-home-for-neurodiverse-families/">The Ultimate Family Life Guide to Thriving at Home (For Neurodiverse Families)</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h1 class="wp-block-heading is-style-text-subtitle has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-c4bb1ee426b2debbfeec0b7d6e3abb74 is-style-text-subtitle--7"><strong>Thriving Together in a Neurodiverse Home</strong></h1>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Family life looks different for everyone — especially in a <strong>neurodiverse household</strong>, where each member brings unique strengths, needs, and ways of experiencing the world. If there is one thing I&#8217;ve learnt over the past 20 years, creating a thriving home isn’t about perfection; it’s about designing systems, spaces, and rhythms that support everyone’s brains and bodies.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">This guide explores practical, compassionate ways to build balance — whether you’re parenting children with ADHD or autism, managing your own executive function, or simply seeking a calmer, more connected home environment.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">At the moment, we dont have a norm. For the past 3 years since our youngest started secondary school, we&#8217;ve been dealing with EBSA (<a href="https://www.kids.org.uk/guides/ebsa/">Emotionally Based School Avoidance</a>) and trying to find him the right learning environment. Alongside that we have two older boys who are at University and in the Army, their trips home are infrequent and can be short notice. Oh, and of course, we decided to add into the mix the purchase and <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/category/renovation-journey/">renovation of our beautiful grade 11 listed home</a> in Thornton Le Dale just for fun.</p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-abb7330b7b9f45d69824281aeb2c1a9d"><strong>1. Understanding Neurodiverse Family Life</strong></h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">No two neurodiverse families are the same, but there are common threads that can help shape a supportive environment. Neurodiversity includes differences such as <strong>ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, learning and sensory processing differences</strong> — all of which influence how we communicate, plan, and interact.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-bc8073bda699d4e2b0d9f5d553aad7f3">Key Principles:</h3>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li><strong>Celebrate strengths:</strong> Every family member brings unique problem-solving abilities, creativity, or focus areas.</li>



<li><strong>Prioritise predictability:</strong> Consistent routines reduce anxiety and decision fatigue. This really helps us!</li>



<li><strong>Support sensory regulation:</strong> Lighting, textures, and noise levels deeply affect how safe and comfortable everyone feels.</li>



<li><strong>Reduce judgement:</strong> “Normal” doesn’t exist — build systems that work for your family, not anyone else’s. It took me a long time to learn not to care about what other people think.</li>
</ul>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-dd2e627ea95859b6024d0b969a8d2117"><strong>2. Designing a Neurodiverse-Friendly Home</strong></h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">A home that helps your family thrive doesn’t need to be minimalist or “perfectly tidy”, in fact it rarely will be. It needs to be <strong>functional, flexible, and soothing</strong>.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-690c810a963d4e385f68ba2e18c7bb89">Sensory-Aware Spaces</h3>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>Use <strong>soft lighting</strong> and <strong>dimmable bulbs</strong> to reduce visual overstimulation.</li>



<li>Create <strong>quiet corners</strong> or “retreat zones” for decompression after school or work.</li>



<li>Add <strong>weighted blankets, beanbags, or swings</strong> to meet sensory regulation needs. </li>



<li>Avoid strong synthetic scents or flickering lights.</li>
</ul>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-5a6c18f2cec9ccbbcf71449ac46bd434">Organisation Systems that Actually Work</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Traditional systems often fail neurodiverse families because they rely on sustained executive function.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Instead:</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>Label drawers and storage using <strong>visual cues</strong> (icons or photos).</li>



<li>Use <strong>clear bins</strong> for visibility.</li>



<li>Keep duplicates of key items (chargers, school jumpers) to reduce panic moments.</li>



<li>Use <strong>colour coding</strong> for family schedules.</li>
</ul>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">In our old home I had a &#8216;whiteboard&#8217; wall planner (approx 3m x 2m) for the whole month, each member of the family had a different colour and all activities, work commitments, events etc. were written on there. It worked so well for us! We won&#8217;t have the room in the new house, so I&#8217;ll have to figure out something new&#8230; we might go digital!</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" data-attachment-id="231" data-permalink="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/the-ultimate-family-life-guide-to-thriving-at-home-for-neurodiverse-families/whatsapp-image-2025-11-04-at-18-39/" data-orig-file="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/WhatsApp-Image-2025-11-04-at-18.39.png?fit=2048%2C1536&amp;ssl=1" data-orig-size="2048,1536" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="WhatsApp Image 2025-11-04 at 18.39" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-large-file="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/WhatsApp-Image-2025-11-04-at-18.39.png?fit=1024%2C768&amp;ssl=1" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/WhatsApp-Image-2025-11-04-at-18.39.png?resize=1024%2C768&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-231" style="box-shadow:var(--wp--preset--shadow--natural)" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/WhatsApp-Image-2025-11-04-at-18.39.png?resize=1024%2C768&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/WhatsApp-Image-2025-11-04-at-18.39.png?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/WhatsApp-Image-2025-11-04-at-18.39.png?resize=768%2C576&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/WhatsApp-Image-2025-11-04-at-18.39.png?resize=1536%2C1152&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/WhatsApp-Image-2025-11-04-at-18.39.png?w=2048&amp;ssl=1 2048w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-83ba8743c1f01f56868a06c4aafed081"><strong>3. Building Realistic Family Routines</strong></h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Routines are the backbone of neurodiverse family life — but they must be <strong>flexible</strong>, not rigid.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-4bfe224704f28b08eb9d5869f89ab2eb">Tips for Sustainable Structure</h3>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li><strong>Visual timetables</strong> or <strong>whiteboard schedules</strong> work better than verbal reminders.</li>



<li>Create <strong>“transition rituals”</strong> — small, predictable actions that help switch between tasks (e.g. a snack before school or a cuppa after work). Even the smallest transition can be triggering. </li>



<li><strong>Keep “buffer time” between commitments</strong>; rushing triggers stress responses. Try not to make last minute changes where absolutely possible.</li>



<li><strong>Use tech wisely</strong>: set smart reminders, shared calendars, and Alexa routines to externalise memory tasks.</li>
</ul>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a885cd6a4995720adb4f0c95b334833d">Morning &amp; Evening Frameworks</h3>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>Mornings: <strong>Minimise choices.</strong> Pre-pack bags and lay out clothes the night before.</li>



<li>Evenings: <strong>Establish a predictable wind-down</strong> sequence (screens off, soft light, calming activities).</li>
</ul>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">School bags were always packed the night before and even I laid out my clothes for the next day. However, <strong>when I hit peri-menopause and my symptoms were exarcebated</strong>, meant I struggled to cope with the routines we used to follow. Luckily, with our youngest&#8217;s needs being much higher, then <strong>we had to reduced expectations even more</strong>, which has allowed me to do the same, so we just about manage. And when we don&#8217;t, that&#8217;s okay, it&#8217;s not the end of the world!</p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-4928888694fa7cde00976d451092d10c"><strong>4. Communication and Emotional Regulation</strong></h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Open communication is essential in neurodiverse families — but it’s not always straightforward.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-54648dd0cdeaa744f3161ed85deef174">Strategies for Connection</h3>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>Use <strong>clear, literal language</strong>; avoid idioms that can confuse.</li>



<li>Encourage <strong>emotion naming</strong> using visual charts or “feelings thermometers.”</li>



<li>Model repair: <strong>it’s okay to apologise and reset</strong> after conflict.</li>



<li><strong>Validate rather than minimise feelings</strong> — especially around sensory overload or frustration.</li>
</ul>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Creating emotional safety means everyone knows they can <strong>express themselves without fear of shame</strong>.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">When our youngest was overwhelmed and dysregulated, he would begin to shut down and couldn&#8217;t verbalise how he felt. I found having visual charts and cards invauable to let him show me how he was feeling. </p>



<div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-794e3cfa wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex">
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<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="681" height="756" data-attachment-id="224" data-permalink="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/the-ultimate-family-life-guide-to-thriving-at-home-for-neurodiverse-families/screenshot-2025-11-04-190558/" data-orig-file="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Screenshot-2025-11-04-190558-e1762283443618.jpg?fit=681%2C756&amp;ssl=1" data-orig-size="681,756" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="Screenshot 2025-11-04 190558" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-large-file="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Screenshot-2025-11-04-190558-e1762283443618.jpg?fit=681%2C756&amp;ssl=1" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Screenshot-2025-11-04-190558-e1762283443618.jpg?resize=681%2C756&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-224" style="box-shadow:var(--wp--preset--shadow--natural)"/></figure>
</div>
</div>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-55ecccb286413c97769e9781aa23a453"><strong>5. Supporting Executive Function (for Kids &amp; Adults)</strong></h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Executive function challenges — planning, organising, time management — are common in neurodiverse families.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Instead of fighting them, design <strong>external systems that reduce mental load</strong>.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-68ba6a993dba2f0872fca4fb5b070f53">Helpful Tools</h3>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li><strong>Whiteboards or magnetic planners</strong> for shared visibility.</li>



<li><strong>Timers or time-blocking apps</strong> to manage transitions.</li>



<li><strong>Checklists</strong> for recurring tasks (morning routine, weekly reset).</li>



<li><strong>Body doubling</strong> — working alongside another person to maintain focus.</li>
</ul>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">We pretty much used all of these, but visual checklists for self-care tasks were especially useful on a morning. And as we moved into the teen years then setting &#8216;times&#8217; for app down-time etc. really helped signal transitions.</p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-59ef4f89d490ba20f0767a1279642966"><strong>6. Balancing Family Energy and Self-Care</strong></h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">When one family member is dysregulated, it often ripples through everyone else.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">This makes <strong>self-care not optional, but essential</strong>.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-367d03da5606c448a6aa3bac9d9f1ef1">Family Self-Regulation Ideas:</h3>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>Schedule <strong>quiet recovery days</strong> after social or sensory-heavy events.</li>



<li>Encourage <strong>parallel play or “alone together” time</strong> for downtime.</li>



<li>Parents: <strong>model rest</strong>. Your calm nervous system anchors the household. My kids will absolutely pick up on when one or both of us are stressed/dysregulated.</li>
</ul>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>I must admit this is probably one of the hardest thing for me.</strong> I rarely get time for myself, and a lot of my time is spent looking after others. I do make sure that at least once a week I have catch up drinks with either a friend or family. <strong>No phones, no computer, just a cold glass of Cava and good company!</strong></p>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-c35230217379cf2da118c3b63a6ac12e"><strong>7. Embracing Joy and Imperfection</strong></h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Thriving at home doesn’t mean perfect systems or Instagram-worthy organisation.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">It means everyone feels <strong>seen, safe, and supported</strong>.<br>Embrace humour, celebrate small wins, and recognise that the most meaningful progress often comes from learning together through chaos.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Quite often the carefully curated image on Instagram, fails to show the absolute carnage that is either underneath or behind the shot! I keep that for the stories, but I will always show the reality too. </p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img data-recalc-dims="1" loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="958" height="696" data-attachment-id="229" data-permalink="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/the-ultimate-family-life-guide-to-thriving-at-home-for-neurodiverse-families/471514966_10162066796623149_8449032506034058094_n-2/" data-orig-file="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/471514966_10162066796623149_8449032506034058094_n-e1762286929799.png?fit=958%2C696&amp;ssl=1" data-orig-size="958,696" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="471514966_10162066796623149_8449032506034058094_n" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-large-file="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/471514966_10162066796623149_8449032506034058094_n-e1762286929799.png?fit=958%2C696&amp;ssl=1" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/471514966_10162066796623149_8449032506034058094_n-e1762286929799.png?resize=958%2C696&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-229" style="box-shadow:var(--wp--preset--shadow--natural)" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/471514966_10162066796623149_8449032506034058094_n-e1762286929799.png?w=958&amp;ssl=1 958w, https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/471514966_10162066796623149_8449032506034058094_n-e1762286929799.png?resize=300%2C218&amp;ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/471514966_10162066796623149_8449032506034058094_n-e1762286929799.png?resize=768%2C558&amp;ssl=1 768w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 958px) 100vw, 958px" /></figure>



<hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-8bb5eca3fea6dfb8c024c4a4da5e1c37"><strong>Redefining “Thriving” for Neurodiverse Families</strong></h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">A thriving neurodiverse family home is one built on <strong>understanding, compassion, and creativity</strong> — not conformity.<br>When you design your routines, spaces, and systems around your family’s real needs, you unlock more energy for joy, connection, and growth.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><em><strong>You don’t have to fit into the world’s definition of balance — you can build your own.</strong></em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/the-ultimate-family-life-guide-to-thriving-at-home-for-neurodiverse-families/">The Ultimate Family Life Guide to Thriving at Home (For Neurodiverse Families)</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">127</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>5 Tips To Improve Your Mood Everyday</title>
		<link>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/5-tips-to-improve-your-mood-everyday/</link>
					<comments>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/5-tips-to-improve-your-mood-everyday/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[faystephenson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Apr 2024 17:31:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[5 tips to improve your mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to improve your mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[improve your mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[improve your mood everyday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental wellbeing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mindfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellbeing]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/?p=621</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Improve Your Mood Every Day Some days, life is easy, life is good, and everything seems bright.  But living with a mental health condition, neurodivergent brain or parenting a SEN child, can mean a lot of days aren’t easy, aren’t good and really don’t seem bright at all. It is estimated that around 1 in [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/5-tips-to-improve-your-mood-everyday/">5 Tips To Improve Your Mood Everyday</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-3fd7e918faee2afd1841db85932cd291">Improve Your Mood Every Day</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Some days, life is easy, life is good, and everything seems bright.  But living with a mental health condition, neurodivergent brain or parenting a SEN child, can mean a lot of days aren’t easy, aren’t good and really don’t seem bright at all.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">It is estimated that around 1 in 5 of the world’s children and adolescents have a mental illness*. Depression is one of the leading causes of disability, affecting 264 million people*.  And almost a quarter of adults living under lockdown in the UK have felt loneliness, raising concern about the long-term risk to mental health**.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">*Source:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.who.int/news-room/facts-in-pictures/detail/mental-health" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">WHO</a></p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">** Source:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/news/almost-quarter-adults-living-under-lockdown-uk-have-felt-loneliness" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">MentalHealth.Org</a></p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">The significance of mental well-being and knowing how to improve your mood daily has never been more important, for ourselves and for our kids…</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-4855cb5cb421ecfa853543d30a0ffb2c">5 Tips To Improve Your Mood Every Day</h2>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-400e2f5ba7eef6bf3d2f5eda65a7e35a">1. Connect with People</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Good relationships are a great way to improve your mood and help your mental well-being. There are lots of things you could try to help build stronger and closer relationships.&nbsp; Call a friend you haven’t spoken to for a while.&nbsp; Sit down with the family for dinner.&nbsp; Volunteering in your local community is a great way to help and connect with new people at the same time.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-6040278db03b941e33a90e073ecf0d38">2. Mindfulness</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">There has been a lot of talk about mindfulness over the last few years.&nbsp; Basically, it’s all about appreciating the present. This includes your thoughts and feelings as well as the world around you.&nbsp; Practising mindfulness can improve your mood every day and is a great coping strategy for anxiety, depression and stress.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">From keeping a journal to meditation, read more about&nbsp;<a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mindfulness/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mindfulness</a>&nbsp;and how to practise every day.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-e4c6d09cba49ee1d4b9c4be50b82ad4c">3. Get Active</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Exercise is not only great for your physical well-being but also a great way to improve your mood.  Whatever takes your fancy.  So if going to the gym and pumping iron for several hours is your thing, then do that.  If cycling, swimming, or tennis is your thing, then do that.  There is so much available online nowadays that you don’t even have to leave the house to stay active.  However, even something as simple as taking a daily walk for 10/15 mins a day.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">For some simple free ideas to get active,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/free-fitness-ideas/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">click here</a>.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-d58c25194897050f794f4e21ecceed75">4. Learn a New Skill</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Studies show that learning a new skill can also improve your mood.  Giving you a sense of purpose and boosting your self-confidence.  This doesn’t need to be a whole new hobby; there are lots of different ways to learn a new skill.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">It can be as simple as learning to cook a new dish or redecorating a room at home.  Maybe you have always fancied learning a musical instrument.  Or maybe go back to college and take a class in something you’ve always wanted to learn more about.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a3f9fce350f9f16ca69f6bc04438a96d">5. Give To Others</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">One of the easiest and most rewarding ways to improve your mood daily is to give to others.&nbsp; This can be the simplest act of kindness, like a smile or paying a compliment to someone on the street.&nbsp; Or maybe check on an elderly neighbour and check if they need anything.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If you’d like to do more, then why not look for ways to volunteer in your local community?  Maybe work some hours in a local charity shop, donate food or time to <a href="https://www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/find-a-foodbank/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">your local food bank.</a></p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">It really isn’t easy to improve your mood sometimes, especially when you are stuck in a rut or at a low point.  But making that effort to do even the littlest of things once a day can make all the difference.  We can do this, together.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a745d9455bd5509773847eef9cf1901f">Fay x</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">The mental health charity Mind also offers information about the&nbsp;<a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/workplace/mental-health-at-work/taking-care-of-yourself/five-ways-to-wellbeing/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">5 ways to well-being</a>.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If you are worried about yourself or someone you love, then please check out this <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">NHS list of helplines and support groups.</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/5-tips-to-improve-your-mood-everyday/">5 Tips To Improve Your Mood Everyday</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">621</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Emotionally Based School Avoidance &#8211; All in the Mind?</title>
		<link>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/emotionally-based-school-avoidance-all-in-the-mind/</link>
					<comments>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/emotionally-based-school-avoidance-all-in-the-mind/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[faystephenson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 24 Mar 2024 14:00:34 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ebsa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ebsa and adhd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ebsa and autism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotionally based school avoidance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neurodivergence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neurodiversity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[school avoidance]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/?p=382</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Sam's struggle with Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) highlights the challenges faced by children with anxieties who avoid school. </p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/emotionally-based-school-avoidance-all-in-the-mind/">Emotionally Based School Avoidance &#8211; All in the Mind?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-ce25a2aec95361cf3a066d099374afa9">Emotionally Based School Avoidance &#8211; All in the Mind?</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">In comparison to the end of last week, when Sam visited his new school and spent some time in class. This week was the complete opposite. I knew very little about Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) until last year when Sam had <a href="https://adhdmenopauseandme.co.uk/neurodiversity/school-refusal-and-sen-pupils">issues accessing school</a>. ESBA is a term used to describe children and young people who experience significant difficulties attending school due to negative emotions and anxieties.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Here&#8217;s a breakdown of ESBA:</strong></p>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li><strong>Emotional Triggers:</strong>&nbsp;Anxiety, fear, or other negative emotions are the main reasons a child avoids school.</li>



<li><strong>Difficulties Attending:</strong>&nbsp;These can range from occasional absences to complete school refusal.</li>



<li><strong>Not Truancy:</strong>&nbsp;ESBA differs from truancy, where a child skips school intentionally without a valid reason.</li>
</ul>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Causes of ESBA can vary but may include:</strong></p>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li>Bullying</li>



<li>Social anxieties</li>



<li>Specific learning difficulties</li>



<li>Transitions (e.g., starting a new school)</li>



<li>Mental health conditions like depression</li>
</ul>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-8c6ab79b83abd66262ec05edc2f352d6">Transition &amp; Change</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">For Sam, the <strong>transition to a mainstream secondary school</strong> had been too much. As the weeks and months went by his ability to cope reduced. Despite every effort to integrate his level of study into a mainstream setting, he became more and more dysregulated. His <strong>differences became more obvious</strong>, and the once-happy boy I knew became withdrawn and angry.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><strong>The fight to get him into a specialist setting</strong> more adept at educating him and letting him thrive wasn&#8217;t anywhere near as bad as some families I know, and for that I am thankful. Yet it <strong>wasn&#8217;t without its struggles</strong> either. However, as many of you know we managed to secure his place for this Sept at the school of our choice. <strong>I thought the fight was over. How wrong I was&#8230;</strong></p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-d0c2b3c2add4ffee2e67432b4a91fce1" id="h-it-s-not-a-choice">It&#8217;s not a choice!</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">By this time <strong>Sam was accessing school less and less</strong>, and by Spring Term we were lucky if he managed to go to school once a week. School have offered various solutions, but they&#8217;ve all just been too little too late. The damage was done by then and he would shut down at the mere mention of school. To some, this is hard to understand. They can&#8217;t see past the behaviour, so see a kid refusing to go to school and &#8216;getting away with it&#8217;. What they don&#8217;t see is the <strong>emotional turmoil </strong>the child goes through just trying to access that education and the <strong>dysregulation</strong> it causes if they do manage to get to class.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-da51f7d9cf35c7e47cc7e6f527f7ed11" id="h-here-s-a-snapshot-of-the-current-situation-in-the-uk">Here&#8217;s a snapshot of the current situation in the UK:</h3>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li><strong>Sharp Increase:</strong>&nbsp;Persistent absence rates (missing 10% of school) have soared since the pandemic. In the 2022/23 Autumn term,&nbsp;<strong>22.3%</strong>&nbsp;of pupils were persistently absent, compared to&nbsp;<strong>10.9%</strong>&nbsp;pre-pandemic (2018/19) &#8211; <strong>more than doubling</strong>&nbsp;[Anna Freud, Children&#8217;s Commissioner].</li>



<li><strong>Underlying Issues:</strong>&nbsp;EBSA is the root cause for a significant portion of this increase. While exact numbers are tricky to pinpoint, estimates suggest&nbsp;<strong>1-2%</strong>&nbsp;<strong>of those missing school persistently do so due to emotional reasons</strong> [Absolutely Education UK].</li>



<li><strong>SEND and EBSA:</strong>&nbsp;Children with <strong>Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) are particularly vulnerable</strong>. Absence rates for pupils with an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) are significantly higher (12.1% vs 6.8% without SEN Support) [Beyond Autism].</li>
</ul>



<p class="has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-3e90c8b3f071b4a7d91b93e45187d668 wp-block-paragraph"><strong>Additional Points:</strong></p>



<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li><strong>Pre-existing Trend:</strong>&nbsp;Even before the pandemic, persistent absence rates were steadily increasing.</li>



<li><strong>Mental Health Connection:</strong>&nbsp;Many experts believe the pandemic exacerbated mental health issues in children, contributing to EBSA.</li>



<li><strong>Impact on Learning:</strong>&nbsp;Missing significant school time can have a detrimental impact on a child&#8217;s education.</li>
</ul>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-7ab22b2f96c843cf15088f3e4bbcc350" id="h-a-long-road-to-recovery">A Long Road to Recovery</h3>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">Having had such a positive step with Sam the week before, I wrongly forgot just how much <strong>he struggles with transition and change</strong>. When Monday came he flat out refused to go to school. A transition morning that Wednesday for all the new kids starting in Sept (3 plus Sam) seemed like a good opportunity for Sam to try again, as he wouldn&#8217;t be the only new kid. <strong>We managed to get as far as the school reception</strong>, I could see he was struggling. We went home and he had one of his worst days in a long time in terms of <strong>dysregulation, and meltdowns</strong>. I haven&#8217;t felt such a failure in a long time.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">He&#8217;s begun asking to go to his mainstream school instead (it&#8217;s familiar and &#8216;comfortable&#8217; in a weird way). They even offered alternative provision but I&#8217;ve not taken up the offer as I think it will just confuse him. For me, <strong>we have to remove all other options</strong> and let him <strong>focus on accessing his new setting</strong>. He has so many <strong>negative emotions</strong> associated with school, it&#8217;s gonna take time. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I&#8217;m the <strong>worst mum in the world</strong> as I&#8217;m making him move to a new school, make new friends and get to know new teachers. Right now <strong>he can&#8217;t see past that change</strong>. It&#8217;s going to be a long process. It&#8217;s so funny how many people asked me after Friday &#8216;So, is that him all settled now?&#8217;. <strong>If only it were that easy</strong>.  Parents of SEND kids and those struggling with Emotionally Based School Avoidance will completely understand the journey. </p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">In the meantime, I <strong>still haven&#8217;t heard from CAMHS</strong> about his further assessments. Until I hear from them, then I don&#8217;t know exactly what he is being assessed for. I feel utterly lost if I&#8217;m honest. <strong>He&#8217;s struggling so hard and it&#8217;s difficult to watch</strong>, I know it will take time. In the meantime, we still don&#8217;t know his actual diagnosis to ensure we are <strong>correctly supporting him</strong>. <strong>Develop strategies</strong> that will actually help him, rather than possibly trigger him. So it&#8217;s off to hyperfocus on all things EBSA for a bit, will see you on the other side&#8230;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-645b12b146bcf79545a96ec52f2ec33d" id="h-fay-x">Fay x</h2>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/emotionally-based-school-avoidance-all-in-the-mind/">Emotionally Based School Avoidance &#8211; All in the Mind?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
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		<title>60 Ways To Improve Family Life in 60 Secs</title>
		<link>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/60-ways-to-improve-family-life-in-60-secs/</link>
					<comments>https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/60-ways-to-improve-family-life-in-60-secs/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[faystephenson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 09 Jul 2022 18:46:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Family Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family Support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Meee In A Family Minute]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MeeeHQ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sid Madge]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/?p=438</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Sid Madge's 'Meee in a Family Minute' promotes family support and well-being through practical advice. Following his best-selling book, this guide offers 60 quick strategies to enhance family life, addressing issues like screen time and personal behavior. Madge encourages readers to implement small changes for significant impact, fostering connection and engagement.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/60-ways-to-improve-family-life-in-60-secs/">60 Ways To Improve Family Life in 60 Secs</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-accent-4-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-cfed071429e8d972f03f6472a150675f">Meee in a Family Minute</h2>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-f6c612c319cf5d2d73ca414a248c8c0c">Family Support</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph"><a href="https://www.meeebooks.com/author/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Sid Madge</a> is the author of &#8216;Meee in a Family Minute&#8217; and founder of The Meee Programme.  In 2009, Sid chose to relocate from London to a remote corner in North Wales and build a new business.  Running a workshop at a local school, Sid was shocked by the self-esteem of the students.  Asked to describe themselves, 15% used terms such as &#8216;freak&#8217;, &#8216;weirdo&#8217; and &#8216;misfit&#8217;.  He felt urged to take action, and the <a href="https://www.meee.global/what-we-do/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Meee Programme</a> was born.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">His first book, <a href="https://www.meeebooks.com/books/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">‘Meee in a Minute &#8211; 60 ways to improve your life in 60 seconds’</a> has become a best-seller. It recognises and affirms the work of the <a href="https://www.meee.global/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Meee Programme</a>, which encourages everyone to recognise and believe in their abilities. More and more in these unprecedented times, we are looking to rebalance our family lives and relationships. Could &#8216;Meee in a Family Minute&#8217; provide some family support and do just that?</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-42834694363b0f36eba688d0bfc53305">Balancing Act</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I was sent an email in June asking if I would like to improve my work-life balance.  Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am passionate about family life and about wellbeing.  So it immediately grabbed my attention. <a href="https://www.meeebooks.com/books/meee-in-a-family-minute.php" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">&#8217;60 Ways to Improve Your Family Life in 60 Seconds&#8217;</a> is the third in the series of <a href="https://www.meeebooks.com/books/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">&#8216;Meee in a Minute&#8217;</a> books from Sid Madge.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I was very lucky to be gifted a copy of the book, and I have to say, as soon as I began reading, I knew this book was special.  I struggled to put down, but the fantastic thing is that each chapter literally takes less than a minute to read.  Therefore, you can make small changes with immediate effect. As with everything, rather than try to change lots at once, we need to walk before we run.  The book is full of useful tips and strategies to help with family support. To help engage with, enjoy and reconnect.  So as I read through, I marked the chapters I wanted to bring to our family life.  I then narrowed it down to my Top 5, which I am determined to work on over the summer with us all.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">As with everything, rather than try to change lots at once, we need to walk before we run.  The book is full of useful tips and strategies to help with family support. To help engage with, enjoy and reconnect.  So as I read through, I marked the chapters I wanted to bring to our family life.  I then narrowed it down to my Top 5, which I am determined to work on over the summer with us all.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-1ca37e472b183e4cd16daf8bc670b97e">Our Top 5 Actions To Take</h2>



<ol class="wp-block-list">
<li><strong>Cut down on screen time</strong> &#8211; From Home School to Lockdown, it has increased the whole family&#8217;s screen time exponentially.  The holidays and relaxation in lockdown gave us the chance to cut back on our screen time as a family, but it&#8217;s hard not to fall back into the same old routine.</li>



<li><strong>Family Values</strong> &#8211; This is something really important to me, and I want the boys to have something visual, to reaffirm those values daily.</li>



<li><strong>Read Aloud to your kids</strong> &#8211; Cutting down on screen time allows us time to start reading more, too.  The older boys and I have a stack of books to get through this summer.  But for Samuel with his Dyslexia, it&#8217;s not so easy.  Reading aloud to him will hopefully give him that love of reading and encourage him with his reading.</li>



<li><strong>Play Together</strong> &#8211; We cracked on with this last night after ordering more shuttlecocks (Daisy keeps eating them).  The Badminton tournament is going strong.  Just seeing all the boys playing out in the garden happily together was lovely.  After tea, Monopoly came out, and a request for UNO to be played tonight! A great start,</li>



<li><strong>Be The Change</strong> &#8211; I think being stuck at home has made me more aware of how my personal behaviour affects the boys.  My anxiety about lockdown has poured over into angry outbursts and a feeling of loss of control.  In Sam, I can see some of those traits in him.  I need to be the change&#8230;</li>
</ol>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-b581ff7614f6b8243aa3f09b7cff6ae3">&#8216;Little Bible of Goodness&#8217;</h2>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">This Pocket-sized book is jam-packed full of actionable family support to enable you to use now, or simply to read through and realise that, actually, even in the madness of lockdown, you are doing a good job! But we should never stop learning, just as our children don&#8217;t.  This book is perfect for those times when you are a little unsure. When you know you want to make a change or help, but aren&#8217;t quite sure how to do it best. Or one of your kids needs a little more support.  From chapters on &#8216;Family Time&#8217; or &#8216;Don&#8217;t Take it Personally&#8217; to &#8216;No Regrets&#8217; or &#8216;Never Criticise&#8217;, it really does manage to cover everything.  I would thoroughly recommend and have just ordered the previous two books in the series.</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">If you are interested in learning more about the Programme and what it can do <a href="https://www.meee.global/what-we-do/employment.php" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">for you</a>, <a href="https://www.meee.global/what-we-do/at-work.php" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">your colleagues</a>, or <a href="https://www.meee.global/what-we-do/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">students</a>, then please check it out.&nbsp; Fascinating read&#8230;</p>



<p class="wp-block-paragraph">I&#8217;ll keep you posted on how our small changes go over the next few weeks.&nbsp; I&#8217;d love to hear if you read and what you think.&nbsp; Or what you&#8217;d love to develop within your family this summer!&nbsp; Comment below.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading has-contrast-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-a745d9455bd5509773847eef9cf1901f">Fay x</h2>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk/60-ways-to-improve-family-life-in-60-secs/">60 Ways To Improve Family Life in 60 Secs</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.howfelicityfinds.co.uk">How Felicity Finds</a>.</p>
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