Since hitting perimenopause, my coping mechanisms failed, and the mask fell off. My journey with AuDHD began, and boy, it’s been a hell of a ride. And whilst dealing with all that, we decided that starting a renovation project would be a fantastic idea! So what are the products that have helped me through these last few years, and what new ones am I using in the house to help with the reno and work with my neurodivergence?

Products for AuDHD Women in the UK

THE ND TOOLKIT

From essential oils from Rebel Rituals to sleep sprays from This Works, these products help me calm my mind, focus my thoughts, and get a great night’s sleep. And when it all gets a little too much, the weighted blanket comes out to give me a huge, deep hug.

Perimenopause & hormone wellbeing

Supplements voted the Best Menopause Supplement of the Year 2025 by BBC Good Food help me get a full night’s sleep and the energy to function throughout the day. Vitamins and collagen, specifically designed by Elavate, are my secret weapons to fantastic hair and nails. Whilst my Caudalie Vinopure Serum has eradicated the hormonal acne that was one of my earliest and worst menopause symptoms.

THE FARMHOUSE

I’ve found some great kitchen products that not only look great but also help with an ADHD brain by reducing stress, visually and literally, and ensuring we don’t run out. When you have ND kids, it’s worth more than your life to run out of their favourites!

As well as that, I know a lot of people have asked about the products and companies we are working with for the renovation, so I’ll be adding them here, too.

RURAL & FAMILY LIFE

Coming this week, I’ll also be adding in a lot of the products and clothing we use and wear now that we live a little more rurally. Think wellies, gilets, leggings, as well as gardening tools and more as time goes on.

I’ll also list a lot of the items that have helped us as a neurodivergent family, such as labelling, vitamins and supplements, books on ND parenting, etc.

All the products listed, which we use and love, have genuinely helped us along the way. So, I really hope that they will help you too! If there is anything you want to ask, please just comment below!

Fay x

The post My honest product edit — what has actually helped with the AuDHD, the perimenopause, and the renovation chaos appeared first on How Felicity Finds.

We also have the room across the landing, which will become a beautiful master ensuite with an original fireplace, roll-top bath, and dressing area. The room was originally a small sixth bedroom, with a modern ensuite crammed in (from Hall Farm’s short life as a B&B).

Victorian Farmhouse Master Bedroom Design

The direction for this room was more of a feeling than a vision at first. I knew, unlike a lot of the rest of the house, that I wanted the space to be light and airy but with a real warmth. As with my life in general, anything for ‘us’ tends to be put off till last. We have a really good knack for prioritising everyone else first, don’t we? A bit like my ADHD/ASC assessment, which I’ve been waiting for 4 years now.

The colour palette is neutrals, linens, stone; think tonality and textures. For this room, I’ve gone with Craig & Rose 1829 Vintage Colours – Pipe Clay as the main shade, with highlights of Round Room. Fixtures and hardware will be antique brass, as with the rest of the house. A touch of opulence with a chandelier and oversized mirror. Lots of textures with soft furnishings, cushions, bolsters, throws. Chaise Longue in the window. For storage, the far wall will feature wall-to-wall wardrobes with a hidden media wall.

Master Ensuite – Continuing the Calm

The palette and feel continue into the master ensuite. Natural stone floor, antique brass taps and shower. Stunning roll-top bath which will sit diagonally across the original fireplace. The second half of the room will be a dressing area, with a dressing table, customised shelving for accessories and a small hanging area.

Panelling throughout both rooms for cohesion and a link to the traditional. Plenty of atmospheric lighting and use of natural materials, wood, stone, linen and cotton. For the windows, then we will at some point have shutters made for both, but for now, it will be a mix of voile and screening, I think.

Heritage Bedroom Interiors

As it is a listed building, we have had to reconsider a few decisions to accommodate its original structure. The large beam had to be sandblasted before we moved in (along with a lot of the original woodwork). It still needs some work before we can then bring it back to its original state. The fireplace in what will be the ensuite has quite a deep hearth, but luckily, because of the roll top bath legs, it should sit comfortably across the corner of it. With a shower neatly tucked in what was the built-in wardrobe, the end panel of this had to be kept as it was original to the house build.

For me, this room was all about feeling like a sanctuary, somewhere to retreat to when everything becomes a little much. Where, even if everything else feels out of control, it makes you feel at ease and safe. I want to take the time to get this right, not cut corners, but it will take time. We’ve got the makings of a wonderful space, and I want to ensure that I create that, whilst respecting the tradition and history that has come before.

What Comes Next

So the plans are in place, and my Pinterest board is full. Next comes the exciting bit, creating the reality! I’m hoping the carpet will be fitted next week, so we can at least build our master bed and move in there. Everything is a bit of a knock-on effect. Once we get our master bed up, we can move the bed from the spare room to our middle son’s room. Which means we can then get the bed from the temporary flat we were in, which was originally meant to go in the spare room.

It also means we might have a bit more space in the outbuildings to get to some more furniture for the spare room and master, and finally get some of our clothing out of boxes and the ‘floordrobe’, which has become our lives. The ADHD side of me loves a good floordrobe, but the autistic side of me hates the mess and disorganisation of it all.

Fay x

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My Story

As with many older women who realise they are neurodivergent, it’s when menopause hits, and everything falls apart, that it becomes obvious. For me, my journey began with my children’s diagnoses, and as menopause took hold, things really began to fall apart. The referral was fairly straightforward, as my GP was obviously aware of the boys’ journeys, so completely supported my self-referral.

When I received the forms to complete, I thought that looking back on childhood would be quite hard. But suddenly things began to fall into place and make sense. My referral was triaged and accepted, and the wait began. In the four years since, I’ve navigated my three boys’ diagnoses, supported my youngest through almost 3 years of EBSA (emotionally based school avoidance) and an EHCP transfer, become L3 SEND Law Qualified with IPSEA Charity, managed -kinda- perimenopause, moved house and started a renovation.

The Gender Diagnosis Gap

We know that historically, ADHD was seen as the ‘naughty white boy disorder’ and something that they grow out of as they reach adulthood. There are three ‘types’ of ADHD: Hyperactive, Inattentive, and Combined. Generally, boys are likely to display the hyperactive/impulsive symptoms of ADHD, whereas girls and women tend to display more inattentive behaviour. This is one of the reasons historically the gender diagnosis gap originated. Clinical studies show that the gender diagnosis gap is 4:1 male to female. However, wider studies within the community show that this ratio may be nearer to 2:1. ¹

Reasons for the gender gap are generally thought to be:

• Historical bias – research was carried out on males, so the diagnostic criteria are still very much focused on male-dominated symptoms, focusing on hyperative type.
• Presentation type – typically, the ‘male’ behaviours are much more external and visible, whilst ‘female’ behaviours are typically internal and much less visible, so tend to go unnoticed by parents & professionals.
• GP Training – because of the above GPs are vastly undertrained in the presentation of females with ADHD, and therefore it can be harder for females to be considered for assessment.
• Societal Expectations – Again, because the male behaviours are visible and go against expected behaviours in public, it is accepted more readily that this may be due to ADHD, and diagnosis sought. Whereas, within females, a lot of the time, it is initially put down to a personality trait.
• Diagnosis Procedure – Girls are much less likely to be noticed and referred for assessments throughout their lives. Still, studies show that even when they are referred and assessed, women are more likely to be misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all.

NHS vs Private (and Right To Choose)

As of early 2026, typical waiting times for adult ADHD assessment through the NHS range from 12 months to over 5 years depending on your area. Some regions have waiting lists so long that services have temporarily closed to new referrals.²

Right to Choose wait times range from as little as 1 week to up to 78 weeks, so they are significantly shorter than NHS wait times. However, many GPs are unaware of the RTC avenues, making referral difficult. And as more patients ask for RTC, providers are struggling under the pressure and are also closing their waiting lists to new referrals.³

Private ADHD assessment in the UK can be scheduled in as little as 3 weeks, but does come with a cost of between £500 and £1200.⁴ GPs can also refuse to accept private diagnoses and therefore the prescription of any advised medication. ⁵

What the Wait Costs

The cost of waiting years for a diagnosis is not only financial, though the financial reality is stark enough on its own. It is the cost of navigating life without the framework that would explain so much of it.

It is the cost of sitting with three neurodivergent boys — each at different points in their own diagnostic journeys, each needing me to advocate fiercely and knowledgeably for them — while simultaneously trying to understand a brain that nobody has yet formally confirmed as my own. The irony of holding a Level 3 SEND Law qualification, of knowing how to fight a system on behalf of my children, while being failed by that same system myself is not lost on me.

It is the cost of perimenopause landing on top of undiagnosed AuDHD with no clinical acknowledgement of how the two interact. The hormonal crash that completely disrupts dopamine regulation. The brain fog that sits on top of existing executive dysfunction. The emotional dysregulation that increases as oestrogen drops. And the total absence of any professional joining those dots in a way that might actually help.

It is the cost of the Maternal Mental Health crisis I wrote about earlier this year — the PND that went unrecognised as the neurodivergent crisis it also was, because nobody was looking for it.

And it is the quieter, more cumulative cost — the one that is hardest to quantify. The years of wondering why everything feels harder for me, than it looks for everyone else. The self-doubt that fills the space where a diagnosis should be. The energy spent masking, compensating, and holding it all together in ways that are invisible to everyone except the person doing it.

That is what the wait costs. Not just time. Everything that happens inside it.

What Needs to Change

None of what needs to change is complicated. None of it is beyond the capacity of a healthcare system that, when it chooses to, moves quickly and decisively.

Earlier screening for girls in education. The signs of ADHD in girls are present in classrooms every day — in the daydreamer who is written off as quiet, in the people-pleaser who is exhausted by the effort of appearing fine, in the girl who is bright but inconsistent in ways that confuse teachers. Catching ADHD earlier in girls means fewer women arriving at adulthood — and motherhood — without the tools to understand themselves.

Better training for GPs in how ADHD presents in women. A woman who presents to her GP with anxiety, exhaustion, difficulty concentrating, and emotional dysregulation should not leave with only an antidepressant, as I did for decades. She should leave with a conversation about whether something else might also be worth exploring. That conversation costs nothing. The absence of it costs everything.

Reduced NHS waiting times. Four years — potentially five by the time I am seen — is not a waiting list. It is a barrier. For women in crisis, for mothers in the postnatal period, for women in perimenopause when the hormonal shifts make everything harder, a four-year wait is not a delay. It is a denial.

The women waiting for these changes are not waiting quietly. They are working, parenting, advocating, and getting on with it — as women always have. But getting on with it is not the same as being supported. A system that relies on women’s ability to cope is not a system that is working. It is a system that is failing, and calling the failure resilience.

The Wait Continues. So do I…

We deserve better. We have always deserved better. And after four years, I am running out of polite ways to say so.

So, I’m still waiting. I’m still here. I’ll continue renovating the farmhouse, raising the boys, and advocating for women’s health rights. The diagnosis will come. And when it does, it will confirm what I already know.

You are not imagining it. You never were.

Fay x

1. ADHD Symptoms in Women vs. ADHD Symptoms in Men: What’s the Difference? – Private ADHD & Autism UK – Online Assessments ︎
2. ADHD Waiting Times UK 2026 | NHS Assessment Waits · neurobetter ︎
3. Right to Choose – ADHD UK – Your NHS options ︎
4. Private ADHD Diagnosis UK Cost: Everything You Need to Know | Private Psychiatry ︎
5. Right to Choose, Private ADHD Assessments and Shared Care – Tarleton Group Practice ︎

The post Five years waiting for an ADHD assessment — what the system costs women, and why the gender diagnosis gap is a crisis hiding in plain sight appeared first on How Felicity Finds.

We should have been finished by now; we should have been sitting in a completely refurbished farmhouse, enjoying the results. But as we all know, renovations always take longer than expected and cost more. Add to that the listed building consent, and it was never going to happen on time. So, as it stands, we have two completed bathrooms and two completed bedrooms, and that’s about it. Even then, there is still snagging and decoration to complete on them. Everywhere is covered in dust, and we can never find what we are looking for.

AuDHD & Perimenopause Brain

Up until now, I’ve been okay. The organising and trying to manage everything have been manageable, but over the last few weeks, it’s started to become a bit much. The constant noise whilst trying to work. The interruptions to sort an issue/answer a question whilst trying to focus on another task are so difficult for my brain. The fact that everything has taken longer than planned means jobs are no longer all working together in order. I’m finding it hard to remember decisions I made several months ago. Whilst also having to make quick decisions to ensure you don’t hold something up. My brain feels scattered and foggy, and this morning I couldn’t do anything. The paralysis was real…

I’m trying to find my new normal. Living in a farmhouse mid-renovation is not normal. Part of me craves company, and I have amazing friends and family who’ve come to see me. But I also need space and quiet. Generally, you’d get this through the week when you’re at work, and your kids are at school. But of course, I’m living in a house full of workmen, and Sam hasn’t been at school full-time since term 1 of Year 7. He’s due to go into Year 10 in Sept…

I’m trying to balance my social side with the need for quiet all over each weekend. Thankfully, the village gives me just the right amount of social time and quiet time; it really is the perfect tonic. A lovely morning walk with Daisy along the river and through duck pond, is enough to clear my head and remove the paralysis. A quick cuppa or glass of bubbles at one of the cafes, or in the pub, to catch up with the locals.

Gotta Love a Deadline!

So, this week, it’s all about continuing with the Kitchen and Boot Room. Making some decisions in regard to the Dining Room and Master Bedroom. With our eldest coming back from Uni at the end of the month, it’s also given us a deadline for getting the next two bedrooms at least furnished! Whilst I couldn’t sleep last night with everything whirring around in my head, this morning I took time to write everything down and make a list. If there is one thing an AuDHD brain loves, it’s a tight deadline. And if there’s one thing my husband needs, it’s a boot up his bum and a list of jobs to do!

Time to knuckle down, pull up my big girl pants and get on with this. But there is one thing I know, when it all gets too much, a walk in this beautiful village is enough to sort my head out. How do you get yourself out of that decision paralysis?

Fay x

The post Six months in: what the farmhouse, the village, and an AuDHD brain in perimenopause have taught me appeared first on How Felicity Finds.

Maternal Mental Health Week: the ADHD and PND connection that almost cost me my life.

As I sit in the new house, surrounded by chaos yet warmed by a hot cup of tea, I can reflect on how far I’ve come. Almost two decades ago, I was in a very different place. But this isn’t meant to be a sad story, far from it. This is a story of a mother with undiagnosed adhd and postnatal depression, who fought hard, coming out not only stronger, but gentler on herself too.

With two boys under two, I found motherhood hard. I wasn’t a confident mum, but at least by the time I had my second, I had a bit of a routine going. Looking back, I can totally see the signs of the AuDHD. I clung to Gina Ford and the routine, but I also found it hard to organise myself and the boys. I couldn’t do more than 1 ‘thing’ in a day, and looked in awe and horror at friends who could visit friends and family, and fit in an activity all in the same day. But as the months went on, any feelings I had started to become numb, and any joy that had been there had gone.

Not an easy journey

I was lonely; I had moved away from family and friends, and didn’t drive at the time. And with two under two, it wasn’t the easiest to get on a bus and go out. I withdrew and spent more and more time at home. My husband had a busy social life playing golf and squash, so he would be out a lot of evenings and weekends. I knew it would be tiring, but it was beyond that; I was exhausted, constantly. I quite often felt as if I wasn’t really there, or felt nothing at all. Feeling so alone, so out of my depth, and so miserable, utterly, utterly miserable, at what should be one of the happiest moments of your life.

Over the coming months, nothing seemed to get easier; I was still struggling, still found the day-to-day difficult. Still felt nothing. I began clawing at my skin to try and feel something. My forehead was often raw and bleeding, covered by a long fringe. I began to question everything, especially my ability to be a good mother and wife. I had very little contact with friends and family and hid away from the world. The final straw was not being able to attend a family event because the OH was playing golf. That night was my lowest point, and I honestly felt that everyone would be better off without me.

A wake-up call – literally!

I woke the next morning, which I wasn’t expecting at all. The weight of what had happened hit home immediately, and I knew I needed to get help. I was diagnosed with postnatal depression and immediately put on antidepressants and went to therapy. At this point, the connection to ADHD hadn’t been made. We all still saw it as something that affected young boys. And while we are now talking much more about the connection between the hormonal shift of perimenopause and ADHD, we still talk less about the connection between PND and ADHD. I wish I’d known then what I know now about the hormone crash and the dopamine dysregulation, the specific vulnerability of undiagnosed ADHD women in the postpartum period.

Women with ADHD are significantly more likely to experience severe postpartum mental health difficulties. And girls are consistently diagnosed later than boys — often not until adulthood, often not until a crisis. The cost of that delay is not academic. Consistently conducted research shows that oestrogen plays a significant role in dopamine regulation. The crash in oestrogen after birth is particularly hard for women with ADHD, diagnosed or not. There is a direct correlation between estrogen and dopamine levels, as this article from ADDitude shows.

ADHD and postnatal depression

Not only does the postpartum period exacerbate the symptoms of ADHD, but women with ADHD are at significantly elevated risk of postnatal depression. The combination of sleep deprivation, hormonal disruption, and sensory overload creates a ‘perfect storm’ for women who are already working harder than most to manage. The PANDAS Foundation has some fantastic resources on this very topic.

For me, the recovery was slow, but by the time I had my third child, 7 years later, I was armed with knowledge. I still didn’t know then about my AuDHD, but I was confident and aware enough to be gentler on myself. To understand that, I found parenthood, for whatever reason, harder than most. Who knows what that early experience would have been like for me (and the boys) had I been armed with a diagnosis and support. We know that women who have a diagnosis report significant improvement in self-understanding, self-compassion and feel able to ask for support.

Research and awareness

If we can improve research and continue to raise awareness, we can ensure diagnosis before motherhood. So new mothers with ADHD can enter the postpartum period with awareness, coping strategies and support from family, friends and healthcare professionals. That is not a small thing. For some women, it would be the difference between surviving and not.

Now, nearly 20 years later, it took my youngest’s journey with AuDHD, and me hitting perimenopause, to realise my own diagnosis of AuDHD. Suddenly, everything made sense. The periods of major hormonal fluctuations in a woman’s life were all the times when I had particularly struggled. If you are currently struggling, know you are not alone, and be kind to yourself. There is support available now (see the resources at the end of this article). If you, like me, are now coming/or are out the other end, well done! It wasn’t easy, but we are stronger because of it.

This is my direct call to healthcare professionals, GPs, CAMHs, etc., to really take note of the importance of early diagnosis, especially in women and girls. It’s not something that will just help them as they get older; it could literally save their lives.

Fay x

If anything in this post has resonated with you, or if you are struggling with your mental health right now, please reach out. You do not have to manage this alone.

In crisis now: Samaritans — 116 123 (free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week) or samaritans.org

Postnatal depression support: PANDAS Foundation — 0808 1961 776 or pandasfoundation.org.uk

ADHD diagnosis and support: ADHD UK — adhduk.co.uk | ADHD Foundation — adhdfoundation.org.uk

Maternal mental health: Association for Postnatal Illness — apni.org

For neurodivergent women specifically: Neurodivergent Women — neurodivergent-women.org

If you think you or someone you love may have undiagnosed ADHD, please speak to your GP. You deserve a diagnosis. You deserve the right support. And if your GP doesn’t listen, you are entitled to ask again.

The post I had postnatal depression, undiagnosed ADHD, and no idea the two were connected. This is what happened — and why it matters for every woman diagnosed too late. appeared first on How Felicity Finds.

Disclosure: this post contains affiliate links. If you purchase through my links I may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you. I only ever recommend products I use and genuinely believe in.

I’d planned the kitchen renovation down to the tee. Spent hours/days (yep, really!) measuring, re-measuring and planning the kitchen by myself. We’d known for over a month what week it would arrive. So, of course, sods law we had no workmen here the week before. My husband was away playing in a squash tournament. The kitchen floor hadn’t been prepped, and it arrived a day early!

When we bought the house, the kitchen was still quite intact. However, it was quite modern, and not at all what would be found in a Victorian farmhouse. We were able to remove all the units, but there is a small cupboard at work surface height, which was located in the corner of the kitchen. This cupboard is listed, so has to remain. It has been the hardest part of the kitchen renovation to design around, and I’m still worried it may throw us a curveball.

Victorian Farmhouse Kitchen Renovation

We’ve gone for a shaker style kitchen, with range cooker (from our previous house), kitchen island and integrated appliances. It is more of a simple modern shaker style than our previous kitchen. But still in keeping with the farmhouse. There will be some open shelving in the utility and boot room, but we’ve yet to decide on worktops… and flooring…

We were obviously hoping to have the flooring ready so could have put the floor units ‘in place’ as they arrived. But, that wasn’t to be. The delivery guys were great and so accommodating. They kept the three deliveries (Kitchen, Boot Room & Utility) separated when storing in the dining room. This should hopefully help the kitchen fitter as he starts on the kitchen next week.

On weeks like this one, I’m especially grateful for Rebel Rituals — the hormonal chaos of perimenopause and ADHD, on top of renovation stress is its own particular kind of overwhelming. Having something that takes the edge off the symptoms makes the rest slightly more manageable.

Next Steps…

So finally this week, the kitchen was cleared, the underfloor heating matting went down and the screed went down to level the floor. Ready for the kitchen fitter on Tuesday. Floor tiles will go down after the units are in place. We also have to choose our worktop which I’m really undecided about. I really wanted wooden worktop, but I understand the hubby’s concern about burn/scorch marks from hot pans etc.

So make sure you save this post and come back for Farmhouse Friday #3 — the kitchen goes in. This next week is going to bring such a big change in the house. If you are new here, then check out what’s happened so far with our Victorian Farmhouse renovation journey. And follow me on Instagram for real-time updates.

Fay x

The post Farmhouse Friday #2 — the kitchen arrived. We were not ready. appeared first on How Felicity Finds.

What Executive Dysfunction Actually Looks Like

Executive dysfunction in the ND brain is when your mind knows what needs to be done, but struggles to start, prioritise, or follow through—often feeling like an invisible block between intention and action. It is one of the biggest struggles with those on the ADHD spectrum. So while I can plan a kitchen down to the mm., or create a colour-coded spreadsheet for all six bathrooms, costed to the penny. I can become completely frozen when something unexpected happens. Or have a huge emotional response to something seemingly minor.

For example, the hubby couldn’t understand why I was, let’s say, a little annoyed when we had no workmen the week before the kitchen came. Oh, and the fact that he wouldn’t be here when it was delivered, either! He was able to see logically that there was nothing we could do, and that it would be what it would be. However, for me, all those carefully laid plans had gone completely to pot, and to top it off, I wasn’t even sure all the units would fit in the house.

But for us, it lands a little harder. The mental load of dealing with a school transfer with a new Local Authority, including an EHCP, school refusal and balancing work alongside is a lot. There were tears.

The Things That Actually Help

When everything feels like too much, I’ve learned that my body needs anchoring before my brain can catch up.

For an immediate fix, my Rebel Rituals ‘ADHD as Fuck’ scent, which, while it won’t make me a focused machine, does help give me a hit of clarity when my brain’s gone rogue. SallyAnne is an absolute genius and so relatable in how life as a Neurodivergent peri-menoapusal woman affects us.

Another product I couldn’t be without is NuMind Menopausal Support, a daily supplement which has transformed my sleep and anxiety. While HRT seemed to help those common symptoms, it had no impact at all on, for me, what were the more impactful symptoms. NuMind Menopause Support has given me back a full night’s sleep and reduced anxiety through those brain-busy moments. Life-changing…

I use both of these products myself daily, I shout about them and love the companies behind them. I have affiliate links for both — use code FAY for 10% OFF at Rebel Rituals (AFF Link) and code FAYS20 for 20% OFF at NuMind (AFF Link)

Where We’re At Now…

Of course, by the time it arrived, with a little help from my sis (moral support and dog distracting duties) and my essentials, it all went smoothly. The delivery drivers couldn’t have been more helpful, and the units all fit into the dining room… just!

The flooring should be completed by the end of the week, pipes that needed moving have been moved, and the kitchen fitter will arrive next week.

Follow along on Instagram for updates, and come back Friday for Farmhouse Friday #2 — where I’ll be showing you exactly where the kitchen is.

Fay x

The post Renovation chaos, an ADHD brain, and two things that have genuinely helped. appeared first on How Felicity Finds.

Introducing my brand new series of Farmhouse Friday, where I’ll share a specific room within the house, and what’s happened this last week. The first room of the series is the family bathroom, which is pretty much done. It’s not been without its challenges; a Victorian farmhouse bathroom isn’t always straightforward. So check out the before and after, and how we managed to do this for less than £2.5k! I will caveat from the outset that the wall panels we used were kindly #gifted from Multipanel.

Small Victorian Bathroom Renovation

The room itself isn’t small as such, but does come with some limitations. It was originally part of a much larger room, hence the stunning, large window. However, this doesn’t immediately lend itself to a bathroom. Not only that, but it is long and thin, making it difficult to change any layout with great effect. And let’s not mention the 70’s pine cladding…

Originally, there had been a bath, basin and toilet, and the layout wasn’t going to change. However, with 3 boys, we wanted to go for a large shower, rather than a bath. I also knew this would probably be the most used bathroom, so it needed to be easy to keep clean, too!

A monochrome bathroom to me is timeless, and perfect to pick up/refresh with simple highlights if wanted. I did feel it would be very stark on its own, and so wanted to ensure some greenery was added to soften the look. The renovation itself was fairly straightforward, although we did come across a few hiccups.

What Worked

• The layout was already there, so no major work was required.
• The window added a fantastic amount of natural light.
• The panelling was pretty easy to install and went up in a day.

What Didn’t Work

• There was a small misunderstanding around the wall-hung basin, which means the plumber had to cut out the panelling once it had been installed. He very kindly cut out along the ‘grout’ of the tiles, so once back in place, it should be unnoticeable.
• The window gives no privacy at all.

Period Bathroom Restoration Costs

Here is the breakdown of exactly how much the restoration cost and where we sourced everything from.

Wall Panels – Multipanel UK – Alpine White Metro Collection (Very kindly #gifted) – P.O.A

Floor Tiles – Amazon #Aff – £127.60

Traditional Concealed Shower – Victorian Plumbing – £249.95

Shower Tray & Screen – Victorian Plumbing – £539.95

Wall Hung Basin – Victorian Plumbing – £129.95

Traditional Wall Mounted Taps – Victorian Plumbing – £139.95

Traditional Low Level Toilet – Victorian Plumbing – £299.95

Soft Close Toilet Seat – Victorian Plumbing – £79.95

Traditional Style Radiator – Victorian Plumbing – £419.95

Wall Lights – Dunlem – £64 (£32 each)

Mirror – B&M – £8

Shelf – B&M – £5 (have linked longer size for online, but shorter length available in store)

Japanese Screen – Amazon #Aff – £89.99 The perfect solution to the privacy issue!

Plants – My own

Wooden Storage Unit – My own

The bits you don’t think about…

Shower Waste – Victorian Plumbing – £37.95

Basin Waste & Bottle Trap – Victorian Plumbing – £89.95

Total Cost: £2,282.14

So, there we have it. The first of our Farmhouse Friday series, and a deep dive into our Victorian farmhouse bathroom before and after. If you have any questions, then please just ask, and I’d love to know if you like?!

Would you consider using wall panels instead of tiles?!

Fay x

The post Farmhouse Friday – Family Bathroom appeared first on How Felicity Finds.

The community I built with ADHD Menopause and Me has been amazing. My account was initially set up to support me and my kids through some pretty tough years. We went from a ‘typical’ family to an ND family with diagnoses of Dyslexia, Delayed Processing, ADHD and now Autism. All in the space of 5 years. I was trying to navigate menopause and raise awareness, but I couldn’t understand why I found it so hard. Walking alongside my boys through their diagnosis journeys taught me something unexpected. I was neurodivergent too. Suddenly, a lifetime of feelings I couldn’t explain began to make sense.

My journey looks different now. The boys are older, and life has shifted. But you are still here — and that means everything. I can’t wait to share this next chapter with you.

How We Got Here

Our youngest’s move to secondary school was, in a word, hard. What we’d hoped would be a fresh start quickly revealed itself to be something more significant. His struggles were deeper and more complex than any of us had fully understood.

Over the years that followed, getting him into school at all became the daily battle. Alongside the dyslexia and ADHD we already knew about, it became increasingly clear that he was also autistic with a PDA profile. Once we understand that, so much of what had felt confusing suddenly makes sense. But his difficulties at school were almost secondary to what was happening socially. Too trusting, too easily led, and younger than his years in ways that weren’t always visible on the surface. I watched him begin to form friendships that worried me. Find himself in situations I couldn’t always protect him from.

It was a lot. For him, and for all of us.

At the same time, life was shifting in other ways. Our two eldest had flown the nest, and for the first time in years, there was space. Space to breathe, to think, and to ask what came next. More than a decade earlier, we had built our first home from the ground up, and that itch had never really gone away.

So we made a decision. A deliberate, wholehearted one. We would move somewhere rural, somewhere slower, somewhere that might give Sam a genuine fresh start in an environment that actually suited him — and give us a new project to pour ourselves into, while still being a home our boys could always come back to.

What How Felicity Finds is now

If you’d asked me a year ago what this space was going to become, I’m not sure I could have told you. But standing in the middle of a half-finished Victorian farmhouse in North Yorkshire, covered in renovation dust with an ADHD brain running at full speed and a body doing its best impression of a malfunctioning thermostat, it became pretty clear.

How Felicity Finds is the honest version of this chapter.

It’s the farmhouse — Hall Farm, Victorian, Grade II listed, full of original features and full of renovation challenges I absolutely did not anticipate. I’ll be sharing every step of the restoration here, the wins, the disasters, the moments where we question every decision we’ve ever made. And of course, the ones where we look at an original sash window and remember exactly why we did this.

It’s the village — Thornton-le-Dale is the kind of place you move to and immediately wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. The beck, the countryside, the slower pace of it all. I want to share what rural life actually looks like when you swap a village just outside the busy city of York for somewhere with a slower pace, woodland in your back garden and the North Yorks Moors on your doorstep.

It’s the ND life — I’m AuDHD and menopausal and a mum to three boys who each come with their own version of complex, and I’m not going to pretend any of that is straightforward. The real talk about neurodivergence, perimenopause, and parenting ND kids stays, because it’s part of every single day here, and it deserves to be spoken about honestly.

And it’s the finds — the things that actually help. Products, tools, places, services that make life in this particular messy, beautiful chaos a little more manageable. Always honest, never just because I’ve been asked.

If you’re a woman in your forties navigating a big life change — or dreaming of one — and you want company that doesn’t pretend it’s easy, you are absolutely in the right place.

What’s coming…

I have a lot planned, and for once, the ADHD hyperfocus is working entirely in our favour.

Every Friday, I’ll be posting a Farmhouse Friday update — one room, one decision, one honest account of where we are with the restoration. We’re starting with the bathroom, which is the one space we’ve actually finished, and working our way through the rest of the house in real time. No staged reveals, no waiting until it’s perfect. You’re getting it as it happens.

I’m also putting together a proper guide to Thornton-le-Dale — the walks, the places to eat, the things the locals know that don’t make it onto any tourist website. If you’ve ever thought about making a move like this, I want that guide to be the thing that helps you imagine it for yourself.

And the AuDHD and menopause content isn’t going anywhere. In fact, I’ve got a post coming that I’ve been wanting to write for months about what executive dysfunction actually looks like when you’re also trying to manage a renovation, a family, and a rebrand simultaneously. Spoiler: it looks exactly as chaotic as you’d imagine.

The best way to keep up is to follow along on Instagram at @how_felicity_finds, or subscribe below to get new posts straight to your inbox. No spam, no schedules — just a new post when it’s ready.

This is a new chapter. The walls are old, the floors are (mostly) original, and I am very much a work in progress — but that’s rather the point.

I’m glad you’re here. I hope you stay.

Fay x

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Whether you’re after a gentle stroll (like me) or a longer countryside adventure (like my boys), here are five of my best walks around Thornton-le-Dale.

1. Thornton-le-Dale Circular Walk (Classic Countryside Loop)

Distance: ~5 miles
Difficulty: Easy–Moderate
Highlights: Thornton Beck, Ellerburn, St Hilda’s Church

If you only do one walk, make it this one, we do it a lot with Daisy (our Dachshund). This circular route takes you out of the village along the Thornton Beck before heading towards the tiny hamlet of Ellerburn.

Along the way, you’ll pass St Hilda’s Church, which dates back to around 1050 and even features a Viking-era cross — a real hidden gem.

View the full route and map

Why it’s great:
This walk captures everything that makes the area special — water, woodland, history and open countryside.

2. Thornton-le-Dale to Dalby Forest Walk

Distance: 7–9 miles
Difficulty: Moderate
Highlights: Forest trails, wildlife, valley views

A slightly longer circular walk that heads north out of the village and into Dalby Forest — 8,000 acres of woodland.

This moves from open countryside into shaded forest tracks, with gentle climbs and fantastic views along the way.

See detailed route info (7-mile version)

Why it’s great:
It’s ideal if you want a mix of scenery — peaceful woodland, birdsong, and stunning views back across Ryedale.

3. Thornton-le-Dale Village & Nature Reserve Walk

Distance: ~3 km
Difficulty: Easy (family-friendly)
Highlights: Village green, nature reserve, thatched cottages

If you are short on time, then this gentle loop is perfect. Starting near the village car park, the route takes you through a small nature reserve before looping around the village itself.

The village is full of picturesque bridges, flower-filled gardens, and some of the most photographed cottages in Yorkshire.

Follow a simple route guide here

Why it’s great:
It’s accessible, relaxing, and perfect for families.

4. Thornton-le-Dale to Low Dalby & Back (Ramblers Route)

Distance: ~9 miles
Difficulty: Moderate
Highlights: Woodland tracks, valley views, Dalby Beck

This longer circular route is a favourite with local walkers here in the village. It follows Thornton Beck out of the village, climbs gently into woodland, and eventually reaches Low Dalby before looping back.

This walk is a mix of forest tracks, quiet lanes and open views — with a couple of steady climbs along the way.

Find more details via the Ramblers group

Why it’s great:
A proper “day out” walk with varied terrain and just enough challenge to feel rewarding. Perfect to come back into the vllage and enjoy a quick pint at one of the village pubs! Or a warming coffee at one of our fab cafes & deli’s.

5. Thornton-le-Dale & Dalby Forest Extended Walk

Distance: ~12 miles
Difficulty: Moderate–Challenging
Highlights: Deep forest, long-distance views, full-day hike

If you’re looking for something a little more adventurous, this extended walk combines the village, Dalby Forest, and the surrounding moorland into a longer loop.

You’ll walk (gradual climb) into the forest, explore deeper trails, and enjoy the stunning views across the North York Moors.

Access route details here

Why it’s great:
This is a great walk for experienced walkers who want to really throw themselves into the beauty of the North Yorkshire Moors.

Getting There & Practical Tips

By car:
Thornton-le-Dale is just off the A170, around 5 minutes from Pickering.

By public transport:
The Coastliner bus 840 (York → Pickering → Scarborough) stops right in the village, making it easy to start walks without a car.

Parking:

• Village car park (Maltongate)
• On-street parking (check restrictions)

Top tips:

• Wear appropriate footwear — some paths can get muddy and change pretty quick.
• There are plenty of pubs and cafes and all are dog-friendly.
  • Cafe Bouchere
  • Moores Delicatessen
  • The New Inn
  • The Buck
  • Balderson’s Cafe/Tea Room
• Stop for ice cream or lunch in the village — you’ve earned it!

Final Thoughts

What makes walking around Thornton-le-Dale so special is the diversity. Within just a few miles, you can go from babbling streams and historic villages to dense forest and sweeping moorland views. It honestly is a wonderful place to explore.

Whether you’re planning a quick wander or a full day hike, it’s one of those places that quietly surprises you — and keeps you coming back.

Fay x

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